Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Broken Promise

Dear disappointed reader,

I said I would write to you on Monday, and now it is Wednesday. I will not make excuses.

Here we are on the morning of the eve of the New Year. Are you ready? I have purchased a fine sparkling wine to pop open at midnight, or really, before midnight.

I was a little anxious about how I was going to get it open (Harriet's no more use in this than me), when Hector spoke up. Very occasionally Hector proves useful.

He said, "As a smull bibi, I was taught to open le champagne. I kin open eet while I am asleep! But thees is not le Champagne! Thees is from the Spain!"

As you well know, reader, buying bubbly is the easiest thing to do to prepare for the New Year. Much more difficult is coming up with proper New Year's resolutions. Here is my draft list:

1. Get a cow
2. Move

I am stuck here. I don't know quite where to move to, aside from it being suitable for a cow. And I also realize that I need one more resolution. One big resolution is acceptable, but two lesser ones require a third. I believe it will have to do with the allocation of my time. "Use time better." is too vague.

However. I still have several hours to sort it out, and so I leave you here, faithful reader.

Wishing you
a healthy, prosperous and peaceful New Year,
I remain,
your loyal advisor and

Friday, December 19, 2008

Late Again

Dear Readers,

The younger weasel doesn't know about interrogative pronouns. If you ask her where she's been, she says, "What?" It's not because she didn't hear you.

Neither weasel seems to understand Christmas. I've heard them ask to "go to Christmas" several times. Sometimes I wish they would go to Christmas.

Do you feel like I'm stalling? Why am I so late in writing you again? Well, the reason is I've been very consumed with a new cookbook called Nourishing Traditions. To make the things in this cookbook, you first need to get your own cow so that you can drink its milk. No processed milk!

I've been looking for a Jersey cow.

Once I get this cow, I need to feed it on rapidly growing grass. As you know, I have a small yard now with very slow growing grass. So this is another tricky problem.

Harriet says I should just use store-bought milk, but she hasn't read the book.

At the same time, I've been listening to a recording of Walden read by William Hope. He makes Thoreau sound completely unlikeable. In any event, Thoreau was not drinking fresh milk from his own cow, but he was baking his own bread. From what I gather, Thoreau's main point is that we should all live next to a pond.

This poses another problem for me, dear readers, as I live nowhere near a pond.

No cow, no grass, no pond. These are some of the reasons I have not written sooner. Yet I have a lot to say.

I will write again on Monday. I promise.

Your friend and advisor,

Monday, December 8, 2008

Six Prune Kids in Trouble

Hello Readers,

Oh, I have another great animation treat for you! Just below you will find another excellent movie by one of Annie's students. This one about a GANG FIGHT! Harriet and I live a rather protected life, and so we like from time to time to see some Real World Action.

The animation is by Toren Falck. The audio is from a Smithsonian Folkways recording. It's off the 1959 album called "Street and Gangland Rhythms, Beats and Improvisations by Six Boys in Trouble."

Thanks, Toren!

Your friends,
Harriet and Mickey

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Kickin' Back

Hello Readers,

Oh, I've missed you. I have been so distracted lately, by so many things, and I didn't write you last week, but I didn't forget you either.

I spent another Thanksgiving with my friends, watching movies and eating food.

Harriet wanted to watch Sicko, the documentary on the U.S. healthcare system by Michael Moore. I knew it wasn't a good idea. As you know, Harriet's health is fragile, and these movies can be very upsetting. Harriet doesn't have healthcare coverage.

I know what you're thinking! How can the co-founder of such a successful business venture as Harriet and Mickey, Ink. not have healthcare? Well, her application was denied. Too many pre-existing conditions. Harriet watched the whole movie with tears rolling down her face.

Thankfully (for it was a weekend to be thankful), she had her friends there to comfort her.

(From left to right: Bernice, me, Harriet, Big Mickey, and Hector)

I hope that you, too, reader, had a weekend to be thankful for. We all need friends around the holidays. And we all need healthcare.

Your friend,

Monday, November 17, 2008

Coming Clean

Ach! Dear readers! I missed a week!

Sorry! It all started when I realized I hadn't taken a bath in a while.

Look how filthy I was. Harriet was reading The Bookseller of Kabul in which people also bathe at long intervals, and she suggested that I consider taking a bath. Generally I don't like to bathe. It takes me a long time to air dry, and I don't like being flung about in a dryer.

But I took Harriet's advice and then spent last week in the window, waiting for sun to dry me. As you know, there was a great rain spell, and it took longer than expected. My apologies again. It does feel nice to be clean, and I imagine you too, reader, appreciate having a clean writer.

Here is a special treat to make up for it. A lovely animation by one of Annie's students with music from Bach's Well-Tempered Clavier:

Until next week, I remain
your clean and dry, correspondent,

Monday, November 3, 2008

Fair Trade Candy

Hello Readers!

Can you tell I've cheered up since last week? Do you want to know why? The answer is: Halloween Candy!

I've found another benefit of living with the weasels. They don't know how to trade. On Halloween they dressed up all cute like animals and scored a lot of candy from the neighbors. The one dressed as a rabbit was particularly good at milking her cuteness and got like three pieces of candy from each house.

When they got home, I inspected their loot.

And the next morning I explained trading to them.

They're not too bright, if you know what I mean ;)

Did I really complain about living with weasels? Living with weasels is great!

Your well-stocked friend,

Monday, October 27, 2008


Oh readers,

I can think of nothing to write about today. I spent a miserable weekend at the bottom of a basket of stuffed animals. Illiterate riff raff. Can you spot me wedged between the grinning idiot tiger and gorilla?

My spirits are dashed. With Annie away on an important business meeting, I was left to the whims of two weasels and their unobservant guardian. I don't even know what the weather was like.

Thankfully Annie rescued me and restored me to my proper place and gave me a bourbon neat to revive me. Here I am with a couple of friends-- Bernice, the pig, and Big Mickey. We call him that because he looks like me, but we're not related.

I hope to have more to offer you next week.

Your friend, in suffering and in happiness,

Monday, October 13, 2008

Frog Goes on Walk Looking for Cure

Hello Readers and Happy Columbus Day!

He may not have discovered America, but he was certainly a good sailor.

Well, this weekend was very busy. For one, I went to the circus. More on that in a later blog. For two, the Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk took place on Castle Island in South Boston. You may have heard of Alan's Angels. Well, they took part in this walk that raised over $278,000, and they were sporting our Orange Frog! This frog has never been on a pancreatic cancer research walk before, and here he is on an entire team of walkers!

[Click on image for a larger view.]

They sure look good!

Here at Harriet and Mickey's we are in favor of all kinds of walks. Walking is good for your health: walking uphill lowers triglycerides and walking downhill lowers your blood sugar. I like to eat sugar so I stick mainly to the downhill walks.

Happy walking to you this week,

Your friend,
and health advisor
and personal trainer,

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Hello Fine Readers,

Do you like apples? I do. I like them right off the tree.

This weekend I went apple picking with the weasels. I picked 4 pecks and a bushel, and I carried them back from the orchard with a tractor.

How, you are wondering, were you able to reach the apples, being as short as you are? Well, curious reader, I didn't bring George's ladder, I brought my handy stool which I received for Christmas last year. I'm sure you remember.

When I got home, I made a pie.

People make a big deal about pies, and I am willing to eat them for breakfast, but I don't actually consider them dessert. Chocolate is more my thing, and I regret that there is not a chocolate picking season. However there are some seasonal chocolates of which I am very fond. They're only $14.

Here is to apple picking season and to chocolate all year round.

Your friend,

Monday, September 29, 2008

Wild Turkeys!

Good morning readers,

I hope you had a nice weekend. I had a very eventful one! You know I'm domesticated, right? A dog like me is very accustomed to humans. I can talk and type, and I don't wear clothes, but I do have opinions about fashion.

So it will come as no surprise to you that wild animals are strange to me. This weekend I was out for a small hike when I came across Wild Turkeys!

Naturally I was interested to get to know them better. "Hey, turkeys!" I shouted, but they ran away from me. I began to chase them, "Come back, it's just me, Mickey!" but they wouldn't listen-- they all squawked wildly.

It's so sad that they no longer trust their fellow animals. I think we could learn a lot from each other. I don't know if we'll get the chance to meet again.

And so, dear reader, if you are living in the wild, and you read this blog (which must be difficult), I ask that you give your domesticated cousins a chance. Many of us are very friendly.

Your tame dog and friend,

Monday, September 22, 2008

Brain Training

Hello Readers!

Have you noticed anything different about me lately?

Maybe the size of my Brain? It's like one-third the size of my body! Maybe that's because I use 54% of my brain, and the normal person uses 10%.

[click on image to make it bigger]

How do I do it? Through Brain Training, that's how! And you can too. I am here to tell you that by playing video games for just 1 hour or more a day, you can increase your brain usage by anywhere from 1-5% per day.

Look at me. I started at 8% usage, and now I'm up to 54% in just 2 weeks. I look smarter, and I feel smarter, too!

Hector isn't doing as well, obviously.

His brain training coach, Dr. Stevens, is very disappointed in him. (Aren't we all.)

My coach, Dr. Hurley, has a crush on me.

She says she's never had such a good student.

Well, dear readers, I didn't mean to be bragging here. I'm afraid Hector makes me very competitive. What I really would like to do is encourage you to play more video games and develop your brain. Before you know it, you'll be a lot smarter, too!

Your clever friend,

Friday, September 19, 2008

Happy Birthday Mickey!

Hello Readers!

Guess what? This week it was my birthday! As you may have already guessed, I'm a Virgo.

How old am I? Wouldn't you like to know!

Harriet threw a big party for me with balloons, streamers and the works. Just like I like it. Here's some video from the Big Day:

As you can see, the weasels interfered. As Usual. And I lost my birthday wish. I will tell you what it was: to live to be as old as Harriet.

Have a happy week,
your birthday boy,

Monday, September 8, 2008

Back to School

Hello loyal readers,

Well it is back to school here at Harriet and Mickey headquarters. The weasels are off at some school playing with their lunch boxes. This seems to be their main interest in school, and if they were subjects, they would excel at both Snack and Lunch. Here they are with their most prized possessions:

There is a wonderful peace and quiet about the place now. And if it weren't for Hector, who is constantly asking to be put in charge of things, I would be a completely happy dog.

Harriet asked me to thank you all for the cards and well wishes. Many of you have asked what exactly is wrong with Harriet, and Harriet has kindly listed all of her ailments.

1. Fading facial features, including varicose veins. No longer able to see clearly.

2. Right hand tearing. Very painful to manipulate things and type. Harriet is right-handed.

3. Left hand tearing. Same as above.

4. Holes in pockets holding children. No discomfort, but makes it embarrassing to go out in public.

5. Torn feet. Nearly impossible to walk.

Still, Harriet is a trooper and only occasionally complains. She asked me to emphasize that she is still "as sharp as a tack" and "very active in the organization." All true.

Have a good week, dear readers.

Your friendly correspondent,

Monday, August 25, 2008

Give Me a Break

Dear Reeders,

It is I, Hector,

who am writing you in defense of my good name. I am afraid that your friend, Mickey, exaggerate when he tell you that I take 5 breaks a day. I only take the 2 breaks.

I admit I do smoke, and it is a dirty habit, but you must forgive me. I am afraid that if I quit the smoking, I will grow fat like an American, and I have the very expensive clothes which I cannot make bigger. I do not want to make them bigger!

Also, the gym is not my style. In France I like to take the walk after my lunch, but here Mickey is always saying, "Work work work, Hector, you lazy frog," and he will not let me take the walk.

I want to get along with Mickey, but I am afraid he is, paranoïaque, as we say in French. He have, I think, a Napoleon complex. He is a very small dog after all, and I am a larger rabbit.

And, so I ask you, mon cheri reader, to give me, your Hector, a chance to prove myself. I am a good rabbit, and I will not sink the ship.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008


As you all know from the Press Release--

Where are my manners?

Hello, devoted Reader, and thank you for visiting The Harriet and Mickey Chronicle-- Harriet and my weekly contribution to our loyal fans.

You know in the past I've complained about the youth, that is, the weasels. But it turns out that even the older youth, that is, Hector, has very annoying traits. When I was Hector's age (23), I spent my mornings in the gym lifting weights

and doing yoga.

I held the door for my elders on the way out, even though I was carrying both my gym bag and my fruit smoothie.

Hector, on the other hand, can't be bothered to get up early enough to exercise and spends his breaks (all 5 of them) smoking.

As you all know from the Press Release, Hector is interning this month and is due to start work on the day after Labor Day, a holiday that Hector does not understand, and not because he is French.

I am very concerned about this, as I'm sure are you. Will Hector's incompetence drag down this very successful enterprise? Will Hector continue to smoke outdoors when the weather turns cold? Many questions have been swirling around in my brain and making me lose sleep. And I am not at my best without nine hours of uninterrupted sleep. Are any of us?

Here I am, two days late with this Chronicle entry, forgetting my manners, barely keeping my eyes open as I type, and giving you-- my most cherished readers-- no tips, no advice, no good cheer.

Please keep me in your thoughts.

Your dog in duress,

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Tale of Despereaux

Dear loyal readers,

We were flooded with mail and calls here at Harriet and Mickey this week in reaction to the big Hector news. It's true there were some minor disputes about Hector's position in the firm, stipend, etc., but it has all simmered down now. Hector is out getting me coffee as we speak. And so I believe, he finally understands his place as an intern.

Thank you for all your concern.

On another note, I would like introduce you to a wonderful book I read a little while ago called The Tale of Despereaux: Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup, and a Spool of Thread. Naturally, as a small dog, I am interested in stories of other undersized creatures, and this Despereaux fellow is quite wonderful and brave. I like to think I would act similarly if I were placed in such a position-- that is, in a dungeon filled with rats.

The pictures of Despereaux are fantastic and done by a greatly admired illustrator Timothy Basil Ering.

I also see that there is a movie called Despereaux coming out this winter. I like to think that before my time is through, I , too, will be on the Big Screen, but that my ears will be portrayed in a more flattering light.

I wonder who would play me?

Yours in print and on film,

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


For immediate release.

Hector, Harriet's nephew from France, will be joining Harriet and Mickey, Ink. as of September 1st. He will be serving as an intern during the month of August.

Hector, 23, has a degree in sociology. "I am really really happy to be joining my aunt's world-famous company," Hector said in an interview.

Asked what he would be bringing to the organization, he said, "I think I can bring a French taste to the organization and to help Mickey to get along better with the people."

Harriet and Mickey have indicated that the name of the company will remain "Harriet and Mickey", not "Harriet, Hector and Mickey," as some have speculated.

"Even when my aunt, she dies," said Hector, "I cannot imagine replacing her."

Harriet said she is not dead yet, but hoping to retire soon. The company released a group photo to staunch rumors that there has been inside fighting.

Monday, July 28, 2008

George My Neighbor

Hello reader,

Do you get along with your neighbors? Well, good for you.
I don't.

I have problems with my neighbor, George.

My first problem has to do with his idea of landscaping. Which is to repaint his cement steps and patch his cinder block wall.

After I took these pictures, I shouted at him, "Hey George, why don't you plant some grass?"
He turned around, but he couldn't see me.

More recently he accused me a stealing his 10-foot ladder. He came right up to me with a smirk on his face and asked if I'd seen his ladder. He looked at me and then looked up at my house which is very tall. "It might be useful for someone like you."

"Are you trying to say I'm short, George?" I asked him.

"Twenty years I've lived here and nothing like this has ever happened before," he said.

"Did you call the police?"

"No, what are the police gonna do." And then he talked to me for another 20 years about how his ladder was on his garage and someone took it off, and his fat son was probably home and didn't even see it. All the while, he kept looking over my shoulder like I was hiding the ladder in my back yard.

Finally I told him I had to go.

"Twenty years!" he said, for the billionth time.

Dear reader, I hope you don't have a neighbor like this and that you are spending these warm days sipping a cool drink with your neighbors.

Your friendly friend, and good neighbor,

Monday, July 21, 2008

We're Back!

Hello readers!

I missed you. Did you miss me?

You probably want to know what we did on our vacation. Well, for one, we went out to see Harriet's relatives in Boonville, NY. That's the actual name of the town where Harriet spent her brief youth.

Harriet's hutch was just up this street on the right. I am going to ask her how many times she's hopped under this bridge.

Harriet's people aren't particularly friendly. And I made a big effort, too.

I think they are intimidated by a hip city dweller like myself because some of them wouldn't even give me the time of day.

Not that it really matters what time it is when you're in Boonville.

There's not a lot going on. Harriet's cousins have a parking meter in front of their house, and they think that's really funny.

But this won't be my last trip to Boonville. I'll be back for the County Fair. I'm going to take the weasels to the hot dog pig races, and I want to see the demolition derby.

Until next week,
signing off,
your roving reporter and hip dog,

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Blog Vacation

Dear Loyal Readers,

I will be taking a blog vacation until Monday, July 21st.

I will miss you, and I hope you will reciprocate.

Yours, as usual and always,

Monday, June 23, 2008

Chinatown Bus- Fung Wah!

Dear Savvy Reader,

Do you like it when I call you savvy? Guess what? This weekend I went to the big city. I had some private matters to attend to. How did I get there? On the Chinatown bus. Fung Wah! I like to say it like I'm making a karate chop.

Fung Wah means magnificent wind, but Fung Wah buses aren't magnificent. In fact, if you are indeed savvy, you will avoid this line. Their safety record is poor. I must admit I made a grave mistake in choosing them.

My voyage began happily enough.

But part way there-- whether due to the swaying of the bus, the smell of fried food mingled with air freshner, or the fabric pattern of the seat covers-- I grew ill and lost my cookies in the red plastic bags they so kindly provide.

Yet, I am grateful to be alive. As you have seen from the link above, not everyone involved with them is.

And so this is a happy sad happy entry.

Wishing you safe travels,
I remain,
your loyal friend,

Monday, June 16, 2008


Well sports fans, it's baseball season, and this week I went to the game. My favrit thing about a baseball game is the watery beer and peanuts. What I like best is throwing my shells all over the place. Harriet gets all uptight about this. She likes Cracker Jacks because they're less messy. And there's a surprise inside.

My good friends over at WEEI, where I sometimes freelance as a sports authority, invited me up to the booth to get out of the heat and have some Dunkin Donuts. The view in the booth is pretty good.

It helps a small dog like me to get up above the fray.

Wishing you some time above the fray,
I remain, your good sport,
and loyal friend,

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


Hello savvy readers,

It's your savvy dog here, ready to pass along some savvy info. On money angels! Did you know that they exist? Well, they do.

Do you like chain mail? Harriet HATES it. Don't get her started on that. Normally I don't like it either, but this one works!

Here is the content of the email:

"Money Angel
This is a money angel Pass it to 4 of your good friends, or family and be rich in 4 Days.
Pass it to 12 of your good friends or family and be rich in 2 Days...
I am not joking. You will find an unexpected windfall. If you delete it, you will never know!

I am passing it on to all of my good friends in one day so I calculate that I will be rich almost immediately after sending it.

I advise you to send it on to your friends and family even sooner so you can be rich yesterday.

Your pre-rich friend and financial advisor,

Monday, June 2, 2008

Let's Go Fly a Kite

Hello dear readers,

Did you have a nice weekend? I am happy to report that I did. In fact, I got on splendidly with the weasels this weekend and have discovered that we have something in common. What is that?

We all like flying kites.

Perhaps it's our small size that makes us like launching things into the air and watching them fly around high in the sky-- like an extension of our selves that's really tall. I made a video to show you.

Yours in flight,

Monday, May 26, 2008

Run Down

Hello Loyal Reader,

I hope you enjoyed your Memorial Day. I spent my day looking for new sources of energy. Weasels are well-known carriers of all sorts of viruses, pestilences and general contagions. And a small dog like me is liable to contract one now and then.

My last bout with illness has left me feeling lifeless and dull.

I have tried coffee and chocolate with some results: shakiness and excess fat. And now I am exploring energy drinks.

I like the orange ones because they look energetic, and I hope to be back on top of my game next week.

Yours in sickness and in health,

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


It's Harriet here. Mickey is too tired to write today, and yesterday too, so I am taking a turn. Why is Mickey so tired? Perhaps it's from those late night talks on the phone with Leguana.

I would like to talk to you today about The Invention of Hugo Cabret. It was listed as a book we were reading this spring, but it deserves more attention. It's a very thick picture book/novel about a little boy who discovers a broken automaton. An automaton is a mechanical contraption that can perform tricks, like sing or dance. The best part of the book is the wonderful illustrations by Brian Selznick.

Here is a cool video of a mechanical book from the automata blog.

It kind of sounds like Mickey getting a massage.

Yours in books,

Monday, May 12, 2008


I know you all want to hear about my vacation. And luckily I took pictures! And videos!

It's a long trip to the Abacos. Or Los Abacos, as I like to call them when I'm speaking Spanish. You have to ride on a small propellor plane that's about 30 years old with a moaning engine that gets loud and soft, loud and soft like any moment it's going to stop altogether. I know I seem like the fearless type, but when we passed over the ruins of a plane wreck, I thought my dear reader, that I might never write to you again.

Naturally the first thing I did when I arrived was to get a massage to soothe my nerves. Can you hear the waves crashing in the background?

After this I had a rum punch, which is what the natives drink. Look at this cutie.

Her name is Leguana. Leguana and I shared quite a few rum punches. And there's much more to tell, but I must sign off

Assuring you that your most
devoted friend will relate more of his Bahamas adventures
in the next installment,
I remain,