Friday, May 21, 2010

Looking for Love

Dear Spring Reader,

Did you read my personal ad? Did you tell your single dog friends about it? I must admit I am baffled by the lack of response. Harriet says that it's too cryptic. She thought maybe someone from the CIA might respond. But I'm not looking for a spy dog! I guess I won't know anyway if a spy dog responds since she will have to lie about her true job. Oh dear.

I felt sure that any seasoned love-seeker would know all the secret codes. And surely the dog for me has been looking a long time for the perfect match, and I will be her happy ending.

In the meantime, I have begun self medicating (as they say). Have you heard of the Bach Flower Remedies, Dear Reader?

They are wonderful little mood alterers in a bottle. To decide which ones are for you, you must begin with a questionnaire.

I am taking Chicory (I need to be needed and want my loved ones close/I feel unloved and unappreciated by my family) and White Chestnut (I relive unhappy events or arguments over and over again). Harriet says I should also be taking Vine (I am strong-willed, ambitious and often bossy), but I don't consider that a problem.

I also picked up a couple of bottles for Harriet: Honeysuckle (I'm often homesick for the "way it was"/I think more about the past than the present), Olive (I feel completely exhausted, physically and/ or mentally) and Water Violet (I give the impression that I'm aloof). I slip them into her morning tea, and just yesterday she sprang from the chaise and said,"Let's do something new this weekend!"

So on tomorrow we're off to the Quincy Library.

Here's wishing you an exciting and new weekend, Dear Friend.

Your Loyal, Lonely,
But Improving,

Friday, May 14, 2010

Personal Ad


in search of looking for



Friday, May 7, 2010

Office Gossip

Oh, Dear Reader.

I'm feeling a little down today. Sure it's nice having friends and new hires, but things can turn on you so fast. Guess who's no longer welcome in his own bed? Me.

Maybe you even saw it coming: Big Mickey and Bernice. I came down from the office yesterday and guess what I found. This:

Bernice mauling Big Mickey on my bed. "Bernice!" I shouted. "Get off of Big Mickey!"

The two of them sat up abruptly, and I could tell right away that Big Mickey didn't mind being mauled. By Bernice, that trollop, with her tags all hanging out.

"What's going on?" I asked, hopefully. "Did you fall over?"

Silence was the reply I got. And embarrassed looks.

"Oh, I see," I said. "I see how it is."

And that's how it is dear reader. It's not the three musketeers any more. It's Big Mickey and Bernice. And me.

I've been keeping busy. I have other things to do than hang out with them.

But, it does hurt to see my bed taken over in such a manner.

And to not even be noticed when I walk into the room.

I think I might find a new bed to sleep on for a while. Even the weasels would treat me better than this.

Your forlorn