Monday, April 28, 2008

True Story by Alison Cowell

Hello Devoted Reader,

Today, I would like to share a friend's true story with you. A cautionary tale.

(Click on images to make them bigger.)

Yours at breakfast,

Monday, April 21, 2008

Good Weather

Well, Dear Reader,

The weather around here sure has been lovely, hasn't it? This is where I live in the house with the pool and the indoor jacuzzi in the bottom left corner.

I have been tagging along with the weasels to the playground. While they steal other kids' toys, I have been sketching the natives.

I'll tell you what. They're none too bright.

Until the next,
I remain,
as usual, etc.,

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Money Saving Tip

Dear Reader,

We have promised you helpful tips that you can't find anywhere else, and we mean to deliver.

What if I told you you never have to buy rubber bands again? Too good to be true?

No! And I'm not going to tell you to reuse the fat blue rubber bands around the broccoli either. These rubber bands are a perfect size and usefulness for almost every use.

Where can you get them? The post office parking lot!

Your very own mail couriers are dropping these little pearls all over the place, and all you have to do is bend down and pick them up. Just yesterday I scored 5 in one small area.

One was broken, but that's unusual.

Short and sweet. That's this week's contribution.

Until next,
I remain,
your faithful and resourceful friend,

Monday, April 7, 2008


Dear Weekly Reader,

Many of you have been asking me what kind of music I like, and today I will address that. What I like to do is find a song that I love and then listen to it over and over until I can't stand it anymore.

Presently my favorite song is Polaren Per Är Kärlekskrank by Cornelis Vreeswijk.

What's that? You've never heard of him? Well, maybe it's because he's Swedish.

As most of you probably don't know Swedish, I have helpfully included a brief translation of the song:

My pal Per is sick even though his shirt is clean.
He likes a girl named Ann-Katarin Rosenblad, who doesn't care about him.
Whenever Per is near her, he blushes, but Ann-Katarin doesn't.

She is the toughest lady in town.
She's harder than granite.

When my pal Per finds this out, he says, "Son of a bitch!"

One night she invited him over and they drank a mass of fantastic alcohol.
She can tolerate a lot!
She drank eight consecutive drinks without blinking!
"Son of a bitch!" said Per.

Per had a guitar and he sang her a song.
Then he asked for a kiss and she gave him a fat lip.

But eroticism's power is big, as you know
First she said "no" and later she said "yes."
"Son of a bitch!" said Per.

I bet you're surprised that I know Swedish. Well don't be! I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve.

Your constant friend and advisor,