Monday, December 31, 2007

Etiquette

This isn't strictly a blog about etiquette, but recently one of our readers wrote in about a problem. What do you do when you have visitors and you don't want to share your Christmas candy with them? Should you hide it? Should you eat it all before they arrive?



These are all good questions, and I am going to attempt to answer them in a satisfactory manner. First of all, you shouldn't eat it all before they get there, because then you won't have any left when they leave-- which is exactly the outcome you're trying to avoid.

Hiding it is a good idea, but what if they ask, "Where is all that candy I gave you for Christmas?" While this is rude on their part, you will still need to reply. And what will you say?

Here is what I propose. Take a small portion of your Christmas candy, choosing from among the candy you like least, and put it in a cabinet. Not exactly hidden, but not in plain view. If your visitor asks for it, you can tell them where it is and possibly offer them some.

With any luck, they won't ask for it, won't see it, and you'll be scott free!

And that's just another handy tip from The Harriet and Mickey Chronicle, where you'll find some of the web's most insightful commentary and advice.

Yours truly,
Harriet

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Christmas

Whew. Harriet says we're supposed to write in this blog every Sunday, but look, I've been too busy. You can't imagine how much candy there is around here and how distracting that is to me. I have a big stash, in a location which will remain undisclosed.

Did you get many presents? Harriet didn't, but I did. Well, it was mostly candy. Otherwise I got one real present which I believe is a stool. Harriet is all like talking about the true meaning of Christmas but secretly wishing she knew where I'm keeping my candy.



Do you ever get presents and not know what they're for? One time I got a jar of Bag Balm, which is a balm for cow's udders. Do I look like a cow?

So this is my stool.


It's a little tricky to get onto. And it has no back rest, which makes it uncomfortable to sit in after a short time. But I will send out a thank you note, nonetheless.

Dear Santa,

Thanks so much for my stool! Did your elves build it in the shop? Do you think you can get them to make a back rest and stairs for it?

Love,
Mickey

And now I will leave you with a thank you note tip. If you get a present that falls short of your modest Christmas wishes and you don't know what to say about it, use a lot of exclamation points!!!

Catch you later,
Mickey

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Trapped

I have been trapped inside all day with the weasels so I am in no mood for chit chat. Let's get right to the point. It's been snowing a lot, and I don't have a hat. I volunteered to shovel the front steps just to get the heck out of the house.





It took me a while, but not long enough.

Meanwhile, Harriet has been reading The Drama of the Gifted Child, and growing very critical of the weasels' upbringing. Here is a recent conversation we had:


Harriet: "It's not right what they're doing to those children."

Me: "Who? The weasels?"

Harriet: "Yes, the weasels. These years are critical for their emotional health as adults. Every child is gifted, and their parents are abusing this gift. Did you see how they wouldn't give that one cheese puffs?"

Me: "What are you talking about? You know, Harriet, you better keep out of this. You're not even a god parent."

Harriet: "I'll do what I want."


Well, I am keeping out of it, for the most part. Harriet asked me to post this video.


video

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Weather

Do you listen to the weather forecast? This week it snowed in my back yard, and I built snow man.


It wasn't easy with weasels gouging its eyes out to eat the raisins, but I am happy with the results.

You're probably wondering what the extra stick in the back of his head is. It's a special antenna that allows him to transmit his thoughts into outer space. Kind of like a blog except that it's invisible. Who knows if anyone's receiving them.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Where's Harriet?

A lot of people have been asking, "Where is Harriet?" "Why doesn't Harriet post?" Well, the sad truth is that Harriet isn't feeling well and is in a sort of protected living space.

Where we live is potentially very dangerous. In the same way that the savannah is. You're eating grass and basking in the sun when suddenly a lion mauls you.

Harriet is now in the observing stage of her life. She's no longer a participant. It's not like she ever did that much or had that much to say, but when she did say something it was always very sharp. She may post occasionally, but she's too tired today.