Monday, July 28, 2008

George My Neighbor

Hello reader,

Do you get along with your neighbors? Well, good for you.
I don't.

I have problems with my neighbor, George.

My first problem has to do with his idea of landscaping. Which is to repaint his cement steps and patch his cinder block wall.

After I took these pictures, I shouted at him, "Hey George, why don't you plant some grass?"
He turned around, but he couldn't see me.

More recently he accused me a stealing his 10-foot ladder. He came right up to me with a smirk on his face and asked if I'd seen his ladder. He looked at me and then looked up at my house which is very tall. "It might be useful for someone like you."

"Are you trying to say I'm short, George?" I asked him.

"Twenty years I've lived here and nothing like this has ever happened before," he said.

"Did you call the police?"

"No, what are the police gonna do." And then he talked to me for another 20 years about how his ladder was on his garage and someone took it off, and his fat son was probably home and didn't even see it. All the while, he kept looking over my shoulder like I was hiding the ladder in my back yard.

Finally I told him I had to go.

"Twenty years!" he said, for the billionth time.

Dear reader, I hope you don't have a neighbor like this and that you are spending these warm days sipping a cool drink with your neighbors.

Your friendly friend, and good neighbor,

Monday, July 21, 2008

We're Back!

Hello readers!

I missed you. Did you miss me?

You probably want to know what we did on our vacation. Well, for one, we went out to see Harriet's relatives in Boonville, NY. That's the actual name of the town where Harriet spent her brief youth.

Harriet's hutch was just up this street on the right. I am going to ask her how many times she's hopped under this bridge.

Harriet's people aren't particularly friendly. And I made a big effort, too.

I think they are intimidated by a hip city dweller like myself because some of them wouldn't even give me the time of day.

Not that it really matters what time it is when you're in Boonville.

There's not a lot going on. Harriet's cousins have a parking meter in front of their house, and they think that's really funny.

But this won't be my last trip to Boonville. I'll be back for the County Fair. I'm going to take the weasels to the hot dog pig races, and I want to see the demolition derby.

Until next week,
signing off,
your roving reporter and hip dog,

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Blog Vacation

Dear Loyal Readers,

I will be taking a blog vacation until Monday, July 21st.

I will miss you, and I hope you will reciprocate.

Yours, as usual and always,