Monday, September 29, 2008

Wild Turkeys!

Good morning readers,

I hope you had a nice weekend. I had a very eventful one! You know I'm domesticated, right? A dog like me is very accustomed to humans. I can talk and type, and I don't wear clothes, but I do have opinions about fashion.

So it will come as no surprise to you that wild animals are strange to me. This weekend I was out for a small hike when I came across Wild Turkeys!

Naturally I was interested to get to know them better. "Hey, turkeys!" I shouted, but they ran away from me. I began to chase them, "Come back, it's just me, Mickey!" but they wouldn't listen-- they all squawked wildly.

It's so sad that they no longer trust their fellow animals. I think we could learn a lot from each other. I don't know if we'll get the chance to meet again.

And so, dear reader, if you are living in the wild, and you read this blog (which must be difficult), I ask that you give your domesticated cousins a chance. Many of us are very friendly.

Your tame dog and friend,

Monday, September 22, 2008

Brain Training

Hello Readers!

Have you noticed anything different about me lately?

Maybe the size of my Brain? It's like one-third the size of my body! Maybe that's because I use 54% of my brain, and the normal person uses 10%.

[click on image to make it bigger]

How do I do it? Through Brain Training, that's how! And you can too. I am here to tell you that by playing video games for just 1 hour or more a day, you can increase your brain usage by anywhere from 1-5% per day.

Look at me. I started at 8% usage, and now I'm up to 54% in just 2 weeks. I look smarter, and I feel smarter, too!

Hector isn't doing as well, obviously.

His brain training coach, Dr. Stevens, is very disappointed in him. (Aren't we all.)

My coach, Dr. Hurley, has a crush on me.

She says she's never had such a good student.

Well, dear readers, I didn't mean to be bragging here. I'm afraid Hector makes me very competitive. What I really would like to do is encourage you to play more video games and develop your brain. Before you know it, you'll be a lot smarter, too!

Your clever friend,

Friday, September 19, 2008

Happy Birthday Mickey!

Hello Readers!

Guess what? This week it was my birthday! As you may have already guessed, I'm a Virgo.

How old am I? Wouldn't you like to know!

Harriet threw a big party for me with balloons, streamers and the works. Just like I like it. Here's some video from the Big Day:

As you can see, the weasels interfered. As Usual. And I lost my birthday wish. I will tell you what it was: to live to be as old as Harriet.

Have a happy week,
your birthday boy,

Monday, September 8, 2008

Back to School

Hello loyal readers,

Well it is back to school here at Harriet and Mickey headquarters. The weasels are off at some school playing with their lunch boxes. This seems to be their main interest in school, and if they were subjects, they would excel at both Snack and Lunch. Here they are with their most prized possessions:

There is a wonderful peace and quiet about the place now. And if it weren't for Hector, who is constantly asking to be put in charge of things, I would be a completely happy dog.

Harriet asked me to thank you all for the cards and well wishes. Many of you have asked what exactly is wrong with Harriet, and Harriet has kindly listed all of her ailments.

1. Fading facial features, including varicose veins. No longer able to see clearly.

2. Right hand tearing. Very painful to manipulate things and type. Harriet is right-handed.

3. Left hand tearing. Same as above.

4. Holes in pockets holding children. No discomfort, but makes it embarrassing to go out in public.

5. Torn feet. Nearly impossible to walk.

Still, Harriet is a trooper and only occasionally complains. She asked me to emphasize that she is still "as sharp as a tack" and "very active in the organization." All true.

Have a good week, dear readers.

Your friendly correspondent,