Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Harriet Pre-Demented

Well, it has finally happened. Harriet has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's in the predementia stage. If you ask me, she's fully in the dementia stage, but doctor knows best. I took her to the doctor, and she scanned her brain and saw some darkened sections. Here are the results:

The reason why I took Harriet to the doctor is that she kept forgetting things: to change her clothes, to post the blog on Sundays when it was her turn, what movies she'd seen, the names of the weasels. And so on. It's interesting because in The Sopranos episode I just watched Tony (who's in a coma) has a dream that he's got Alzheimer's. And the book Harriet's reading is also about Alzheimer's. Things come in 3s, don't they?

Harriet knows she's pre-demented, and she isn't too fazed. She says she'll still post to the blog. This is just so you know.

I am not predemented.

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Secret

Dear Reader,

Have you heard about The Secret? If you imagine what you want with enough clarity and depth, you will attract it to you. I have had some success. For instance, the other day I ran out of Uni-ball pens, which I like to write with. I sat down and pictured myself receiving a small box of these, and the next morning at the gym, while I was doing my stretches, I discovered one right in front of me.

(I don't show it here, because this is actually a reenactment, and as you'll soon discover, I didn't keep the pen.) Did the universe place this pen there just for me? I wasn't sure. Maybe someone dropped it, and they were going to come looking for it in a minute.

For this reason, and because I knew that a guy on the elliptical machine was watching, I didn't take the pen home. However I still think this counts as the Secret working.

Annie made a comic of her skill at employing The Secret, which needs some fine-tuning:
Click on the comic to make it larger.

And now, I sign off.

Until next week, I remain,
Yours truly,

Sunday, January 13, 2008


Do you like weasels? Maybe you do, but do you live with them?

Let me first say that a weasel is not a rodent. Rodents have teeth that keep growing. Weasels' teeth stop growing. Weasels actually eat rodents.

Dogs don't really get along with weasels. Do you know why? Because weasels are annoying.

I live with two annoying weasels. One rubs toothpaste all over her face and snaps crayons in two.

The other is incessantly performing show and tell.

Does she think I care about her dumb toy? I left pre-school a long time ago, and not a moment too soon.

We all have to live with our roommates' irritating habits, isn't that true? But some roommates are worse than others.

The Harriet and Mickey Chronicle is sponsoring a contest for our vast readership. Send us your annoying roommate stories, and if you have the most annoying roommate, you'll win a weasel-filled weekend. Yes! We'll ship our weasels to you, free-of-charge, for one full weekend (Friday night included) and when they leave (Sunday at midnight) you'll never complain about your roommate again.

Send your entry to Please put "annoying roommate" in the subject line.

As always we remain,
your devoted,
Harriet and Mickey