True Story by Alison Cowell

Hello Devoted Reader,

Today, I would like to share a friend's true story with you. A cautionary tale.

(Click on images to make them bigger.)











Yours at breakfast,
Harriet

Good Weather

Well, Dear Reader,

The weather around here sure has been lovely, hasn't it? This is where I live in the house with the pool and the indoor jacuzzi in the bottom left corner.



I have been tagging along with the weasels to the playground. While they steal other kids' toys, I have been sketching the natives.




I'll tell you what. They're none too bright.


Until the next,
I remain,
as usual, etc.,
Mickey

Money Saving Tip

Dear Reader,

We have promised you helpful tips that you can't find anywhere else, and we mean to deliver.

What if I told you you never have to buy rubber bands again? Too good to be true?

No! And I'm not going to tell you to reuse the fat blue rubber bands around the broccoli either. These rubber bands are a perfect size and usefulness for almost every use.

Where can you get them? The post office parking lot!


Your very own mail couriers are dropping these little pearls all over the place, and all you have to do is bend down and pick them up. Just yesterday I scored 5 in one small area.


One was broken, but that's unusual.

Short and sweet. That's this week's contribution.

Until next,
I remain,
your faithful and resourceful friend,
Mickey

Music

Dear Weekly Reader,

Many of you have been asking me what kind of music I like, and today I will address that. What I like to do is find a song that I love and then listen to it over and over until I can't stand it anymore.



Presently my favorite song is Polaren Per Är Kärlekskrank by Cornelis Vreeswijk.

What's that? You've never heard of him? Well, maybe it's because he's Swedish.

As most of you probably don't know Swedish, I have helpfully included a brief translation of the song:

My pal Per is sick even though his shirt is clean.
He likes a girl named Ann-Katarin Rosenblad, who doesn't care about him.
Whenever Per is near her, he blushes, but Ann-Katarin doesn't.

She is the toughest lady in town.
She's harder than granite.
When my pal Per finds this out, he says, "Son of a bitch!"

One night she invited him over and they drank a mass of fantastic alcohol.
She can tolerate a lot!
She drank eight consecutive drinks without blinking!
"Son of a bitch!" said Per.

Per had a guitar and he sang her a song.
Then he asked for a kiss and she gave him a fat lip.

But eroticism's power is big, as you know
First she said "no" and later she said "yes."
"Son of a bitch!" said Per.

I bet you're surprised that I know Swedish. Well don't be! I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve.

Your constant friend and advisor,
Mickey

Earth Hour

Dear Loyal Reader,

You've probably been wondering where I've been. Well, I've been vacationing in sunny Florida. I know I should have told you sooner so you wouldn't have worried, but what can I do now?

I hope that you celebrated Earth Hour this past weekend as Harriet and I did. Harriet was reminded of her childhood in rural Vermont with no electricity and running water. I was reminded of the time the power went out.

We lit candles and read, and fell asleep soon after, nearly lighting the house on fire.


It's good to be back home, dear reader. I hope you missed us as much as we missed you.

Your devoted friends and advisors,
Harriet and Mickey

Tax Tips for the Rich and Poor

Dear Reader,

It is with great pleasure that I announce today that I've completed my 2007 taxes. You know how tech-savvy I am, so it can't come as any surprise to you that I used TurboTax.

Here's the bad news first: I owe $212,028 in state taxes and $1,504,972.00 in federal taxes for the $4 million dollars I made signing a book contract for What Mickey Knows.

But I offset this with...

TIP #1: Take a trip to Las Vegas.
Pay off your tax burden and have a good time. Go to the Wynn Las Vegas for the weekend and win big. I did. There's no income tax and you can make enough money to pay off your tax bill.

That was all good, but when I came to my Massachusetts state tax return, I found out that I was going to be penalized for not having health insurance. Do I look like I need health insurance?



This had me down until I realized...

TIP #2: Become a Christian Scientist
Avoid any penalty fees by changing your religious affiliation.



All you have to do is fill out this application.

So now I'm a Christian Scientist and rich and my taxes are done. I hope this news cheers you up. It certainly has cheered me up.

Until we meet next,
I remain your devoted
and scientific,
Mickey

Annie Update

This is a democratic blog. Sort of. It's not really a capitalist blog, more like a communist blog. Harriet is a total commie. Anyhow, the point is that some of our support staff have asked to post occasionally on the blog, and as I am a big dog, I have agreed. Here is Annie:

Hello all and thank you, Mickey, for letting me post today. I thought I would share a few images from a children's book I am working on. I actually have two books in the works-- one is a chapter book for 10-12 year-olds about a mouse named Pious who wants to be a preacher.

The other is a toddler picture book about a father rabbit trying to get his daughter rabbit to eat. Here is a spread from that. Click on the images to make them larger:




It's Mickey again. Thank you, Annie, for your post. And thank you, dear reader, for your loyal support.

Yours,
in winter
and in spring,
Mickey