Wild Turkeys!

Good morning readers,

I hope you had a nice weekend. I had a very eventful one! You know I'm domesticated, right? A dog like me is very accustomed to humans. I can talk and type, and I don't wear clothes, but I do have opinions about fashion.

So it will come as no surprise to you that wild animals are strange to me. This weekend I was out for a small hike when I came across Wild Turkeys!



Naturally I was interested to get to know them better. "Hey, turkeys!" I shouted, but they ran away from me. I began to chase them, "Come back, it's just me, Mickey!" but they wouldn't listen-- they all squawked wildly.



It's so sad that they no longer trust their fellow animals. I think we could learn a lot from each other. I don't know if we'll get the chance to meet again.

And so, dear reader, if you are living in the wild, and you read this blog (which must be difficult), I ask that you give your domesticated cousins a chance. Many of us are very friendly.

Your tame dog and friend,
Mickey

Brain Training

Hello Readers!

Have you noticed anything different about me lately?



Maybe the size of my Brain? It's like one-third the size of my body! Maybe that's because I use 54% of my brain, and the normal person uses 10%.

[click on image to make it bigger]

How do I do it? Through Brain Training, that's how! And you can too. I am here to tell you that by playing video games for just 1 hour or more a day, you can increase your brain usage by anywhere from 1-5% per day.

Look at me. I started at 8% usage, and now I'm up to 54% in just 2 weeks. I look smarter, and I feel smarter, too!

Hector isn't doing as well, obviously.


His brain training coach, Dr. Stevens, is very disappointed in him. (Aren't we all.)

My coach, Dr. Hurley, has a crush on me.



She says she's never had such a good student.


Well, dear readers, I didn't mean to be bragging here. I'm afraid Hector makes me very competitive. What I really would like to do is encourage you to play more video games and develop your brain. Before you know it, you'll be a lot smarter, too!

Your clever friend,
Mickey

Happy Birthday Mickey!

Hello Readers!

Guess what? This week it was my birthday! As you may have already guessed, I'm a Virgo.

How old am I? Wouldn't you like to know!

Harriet threw a big party for me with balloons, streamers and the works. Just like I like it. Here's some video from the Big Day:




As you can see, the weasels interfered. As Usual. And I lost my birthday wish. I will tell you what it was: to live to be as old as Harriet.

Have a happy week,
your birthday boy,
Mickey

Back to School

Hello loyal readers,

Well it is back to school here at Harriet and Mickey headquarters. The weasels are off at some school playing with their lunch boxes. This seems to be their main interest in school, and if they were subjects, they would excel at both Snack and Lunch. Here they are with their most prized possessions:



There is a wonderful peace and quiet about the place now. And if it weren't for Hector, who is constantly asking to be put in charge of things, I would be a completely happy dog.

Harriet asked me to thank you all for the cards and well wishes. Many of you have asked what exactly is wrong with Harriet, and Harriet has kindly listed all of her ailments.


1. Fading facial features, including varicose veins. No longer able to see clearly.

2. Right hand tearing. Very painful to manipulate things and type. Harriet is right-handed.

3. Left hand tearing. Same as above.

4. Holes in pockets holding children. No discomfort, but makes it embarrassing to go out in public.

5. Torn feet. Nearly impossible to walk.


Still, Harriet is a trooper and only occasionally complains. She asked me to emphasize that she is still "as sharp as a tack" and "very active in the organization." All true.

Have a good week, dear readers.

Your friendly correspondent,
Mickey

Give Me a Break

Dear Reeders,

It is I, Hector,



who am writing you in defense of my good name. I am afraid that your friend, Mickey, exaggerate when he tell you that I take 5 breaks a day. I only take the 2 breaks.

I admit I do smoke, and it is a dirty habit, but you must forgive me. I am afraid that if I quit the smoking, I will grow fat like an American, and I have the very expensive clothes which I cannot make bigger. I do not want to make them bigger!

Also, the gym is not my style. In France I like to take the walk after my lunch, but here Mickey is always saying, "Work work work, Hector, you lazy frog," and he will not let me take the walk.

I want to get along with Mickey, but I am afraid he is, paranoïaque, as we say in French. He have, I think, a Napoleon complex. He is a very small dog after all, and I am a larger rabbit.

And, so I ask you, mon cheri reader, to give me, your Hector, a chance to prove myself. I am a good rabbit, and I will not sink the ship.

Sincerely,
Hector

Slacking

As you all know from the Press Release--

Where are my manners?

Hello, devoted Reader, and thank you for visiting The Harriet and Mickey Chronicle-- Harriet and my weekly contribution to our loyal fans.

You know in the past I've complained about the youth, that is, the weasels. But it turns out that even the older youth, that is, Hector, has very annoying traits. When I was Hector's age (23), I spent my mornings in the gym lifting weights


and doing yoga.



I held the door for my elders on the way out, even though I was carrying both my gym bag and my fruit smoothie.

Hector, on the other hand, can't be bothered to get up early enough to exercise and spends his breaks (all 5 of them) smoking.


As you all know from the Press Release, Hector is interning this month and is due to start work on the day after Labor Day, a holiday that Hector does not understand, and not because he is French.

I am very concerned about this, as I'm sure are you. Will Hector's incompetence drag down this very successful enterprise? Will Hector continue to smoke outdoors when the weather turns cold? Many questions have been swirling around in my brain and making me lose sleep. And I am not at my best without nine hours of uninterrupted sleep. Are any of us?

Here I am, two days late with this Chronicle entry, forgetting my manners, barely keeping my eyes open as I type, and giving you-- my most cherished readers-- no tips, no advice, no good cheer.

Please keep me in your thoughts.

Your dog in duress,
Mickey

The Tale of Despereaux

Dear loyal readers,

We were flooded with mail and calls here at Harriet and Mickey this week in reaction to the big Hector news. It's true there were some minor disputes about Hector's position in the firm, stipend, etc., but it has all simmered down now. Hector is out getting me coffee as we speak. And so I believe, he finally understands his place as an intern.

Thank you for all your concern.

On another note, I would like introduce you to a wonderful book I read a little while ago called The Tale of Despereaux: Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup, and a Spool of Thread. Naturally, as a small dog, I am interested in stories of other undersized creatures, and this Despereaux fellow is quite wonderful and brave. I like to think I would act similarly if I were placed in such a position-- that is, in a dungeon filled with rats.

The pictures of Despereaux are fantastic and done by a greatly admired illustrator Timothy Basil Ering.





I also see that there is a movie called Despereaux coming out this winter. I like to think that before my time is through, I , too, will be on the Big Screen, but that my ears will be portrayed in a more flattering light.

I wonder who would play me?

Yours in print and on film,
Mickey