The Harriet and Mickey Chronicle

Commencement 2010

2010-06-11T12:31:00.011-04:00

Dear Attentive Reader,

Well, it is graduation time again, and, as I have not been asked to give any commencement speeches, I would like to give some advice here, in my blog, to all the recently coined alumni.

First, let me say that it is I, Harriet, hosting the blog today. Once in a while I do get off the new chaise and make my way to the computer. (Though computers aren't really my forte, and this one makes a very loud electronic whooshing sound which gets under my apron.)

Here are three small jewels for you to take home to your own chaise and cogitate at your leisure:

From Mrs. Beeton's Kitchen:
1. Dirty saucepans filled with hot water begin to clean themselves.

From Our First President:
2. Be not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret.

And from my favorite writer, Eudora Welty:
3. A sheltered life can be a daring life as well. For all serious daring starts from within.

And finally, a picture by the elder weasel, which demonstrates an attitude of great openness which all alumni should endeavor to cultivate in the big, wide world.

Until the next,
I remain,
your trusted rabbit,
and good friend,
Harriet

Weasels Take Up Entomology

2010-06-01T10:29:00.009-04:00

Hello Readers and Happy June,

You will be interested to know that the weasels have taken a great interest in bugs. Will the insect world benefit?

The younger weasel is particularly interested in the butterfly and has illustrated the insect's varied career:

1:
2:
3:

4:
The elder weasel has been studying bugs in some sort of laboratory she set up:

Have a closer look:

It does not appear to me that this bug is doing well. What do you think?

Shall we call the ASPCB?

Harriet says we should take that contraption away from the weasels and keep them indoors. She has not always been treated respectfully by the weasels. Nor have I, for that matter. Nor have I.

And on the subject of bugs, Harriet would like to mention the passing of a good friend of hers, Louise Bourgeois. Louise was a great lover of insects and was also very old.

And with that, dear reader, I leave you.

Wishing you a lovely June,
in harmony with bugs,
we remain your
Good Friends,
Harriet and Mickey

Looking for Love

2010-05-21T11:25:00.010-04:00

Dear Spring Reader,

Did you read my personal ad? Did you tell your single dog friends about it? I must admit I am baffled by the lack of response. Harriet says that it's too cryptic. She thought maybe someone from the CIA might respond. But I'm not looking for a spy dog! I guess I won't know anyway if a spy dog responds since she will have to lie about her true job. Oh dear.

I felt sure that any seasoned love-seeker would know all the secret codes. And surely the dog for me has been looking a long time for the perfect match, and I will be her happy ending.

In the meantime, I have begun self medicating (as they say). Have you heard of the Bach Flower Remedies, Dear Reader?

They are wonderful little mood alterers in a bottle. To decide which ones are for you, you must begin with a questionnaire.

I am taking Chicory (I need to be needed and want my loved ones close/I feel unloved and unappreciated by my family) and White Chestnut (I relive unhappy events or arguments over and over again). Harriet says I should also be taking Vine (I am strong-willed, ambitious and often bossy), but I don't consider that a problem.

I also picked up a couple of bottles for Harriet: Honeysuckle (I'm often homesick for the "way it was"/I think more about the past than the present), Olive (I feel completely exhausted, physically and/ or mentally) and Water Violet (I give the impression that I'm aloof). I slip them into her morning tea, and just yesterday she sprang from the chaise and said,"Let's do something new this weekend!"

So on tomorrow we're off to the Quincy Library.

Here's wishing you an exciting and new weekend, Dear Friend.

Your Loyal, Lonely,
But Improving,
Dog,
Mickey

Personal Ad

2010-05-14T15:06:00.012-04:00

,

with
in search of looking for
.

.
.

Email: mickey@harrietandmickey.com

Office Gossip

2010-05-07T14:33:00.007-04:00

Oh, Dear Reader.

I'm feeling a little down today. Sure it's nice having friends and new hires, but things can turn on you so fast. Guess who's no longer welcome in his own bed? Me.

Maybe you even saw it coming: Big Mickey and Bernice. I came down from the office yesterday and guess what I found. This:

Bernice mauling Big Mickey on my bed. "Bernice!" I shouted. "Get off of Big Mickey!"

The two of them sat up abruptly, and I could tell right away that Big Mickey didn't mind being mauled. By Bernice, that trollop, with her tags all hanging out.

"What's going on?" I asked, hopefully. "Did you fall over?"

Silence was the reply I got. And embarrassed looks.

"Oh, I see," I said. "I see how it is."

And that's how it is dear reader. It's not the three musketeers any more. It's Big Mickey and Bernice. And me.

I've been keeping busy. I have other things to do than hang out with them.

But, it does hurt to see my bed taken over in such a manner.

And to not even be noticed when I walk into the room.

I think I might find a new bed to sleep on for a while. Even the weasels would treat me better than this.

Your forlorn
Friend,
Mickey

New Hires

2010-04-30T14:45:00.010-04:00

It's bloggy blog time, Read-y Readers!

What today? you wonder. As do we, dear friend. As do we.

Well, I suppose the natural thing to do is to introduce you to our new employees. Mind you, most of these have not passed the 3-month trial period, the Great Perlustration, as Harriet calls it. Although I think that word is more for papers than people. (Harriet loves a long word.)

We put all our employees through a battery of tests, and if they do satisfactorily, they are permanently hired. Some of you who run businesses of your own will understand this.

Here they are in order of hire date.

First Rudy:

He was actually hired before our policy of the 3-month trial. I can't really imagining him passing the tests now. This isn't fair to our new employees who have to, but Rudy has a broken foot, and we can't really kick him out. He announces when someone new has entered the building.

Then Martha:
She's actually been with us for years. A quiet worker. She's in charge of opening the mail.

Next Birdy. Birdy is a new hire, and I'm not certain she'll get tenured. She's a frightened kind of thing and has trouble staying on task.

Martin, below, is our most promising new hire and has won employee of the month both in January and again in March.

Martin is a hard worker, and his only flaw so far revealed is a tendency to talk too much. Of course this doesn't bother Harriet who can barely hear anyhow, but it does annoy me occasionally. Martin does mainly technical, computer work.

Bandit, above, was hired on the same day as Martin. He isn't overly bright, but he is likable. He is Hector's assistant.

Big Jim, above, is not actually a new hire. He is just shacking up in the studio for a couple of weeks. We do that from time to time for good friends. But be assured, Dear Reader, that these visitors do not interfere with the highly productive work of our team.

And finally, Muggers, our wind-up dog. He's not an employee; he's a toy! Did you think we'd hire someone without a proper head? We wind him up every once in a while for a good laugh.

So there you have it Interested Reader. The full staff at Harriet and Mickey, Ink.

As always, you are welcome to come visit us,
And meet the New Hires.
Your friends,
And Responsible Employers,
Harriet and Mickey

Chaise Completed!

2010-04-23T14:31:00.011-04:00

Good afternoon Cherished Reader,

Well, you will be relieved to know that the chaise is finished! Printing on fabric is all well and good, but I'm not sure that it saves any time. I believe I could have hand-painted both the shower curtain and the chaise in the same amount of time it took me to print them. What with the washing and ironing, then washing and ironing again. That is enough to fully exhaust a dog like me who has great difficulty simply getting the ironing board out of the closet.

Here is the completed chaise:

Compare to uncompleted chaise.

Harriet says it's firmer with the cover on it, and also enjoys the woodsy feel.

The studio is nearly in tip top shape, nearly ready to resume full production. Just a few more things...

Well. Here's wishing you a delightful weekend,
Your printmaking dog,
and loyal blogger,
Mickey
(with Harriet)

Delays and Polish Illustration

2010-04-16T10:23:00.010-04:00

Well, the chaise screenprinting is not complete. That is, there have been some delays. Dear Reader, you can expect to see a completed chaise next week. Dog's Honor.

What do you want to talk about today? Delays? How about an interesting illustration book that I found in the library the other day? It's filled with Polish book illustrations. Here are some of my favorites:

[Click on images to make them bigger.]

This pictures a robber getting away. Zbigniew, himself, looks a little sneaky, doesn't he? Harriet used to date a Zbigniew, and she says he was also sneaky.

Here is my favorite:
A lovely village scene.
This book called Polish Book Illustrations, was published in 1964. That means Krystyna is now 82 years old.

I also like this train picture. I really like to ride on trains and don't get to often, what with things here keeping me so busy.

This one shows an expectant father and son going to a cyrk, whatever that is. I don't think Eryk here ever goes to cyrks.

And finally here is Bohdan Butenko, overseeing his nice pictures. You can see me and Harriet riding on his plane back in Harriet's more adventurous days.

Don't the Polish illustrators dress nicely? Hector thinks we should institute a new dress code in the studio, but as we all know well, he's not in charge.

That is all for now, Dear Reader. Please join us next week,
And please think of us often,
Your friends,
advisors,
and animals,
Harriet and Mickey

The New Math

2010-04-07T14:36:00.009-04:00

Good afternoon Reader,

Perhaps you are acquainted with The New Math? It's a new way of doing math. Harriet, apparently, is very against it, being so expertly expert in her multiplication tables. But I am all for more freedom in my calculations. It's kind of like glasnost, but for math.

Annie just finished a new math trilogy, which clarifies the subject. Here it is:

But what does it all mean, you ask.

Well, my good friend, think about it.
Here it is broken down. Start first with the division:

Then calculate the difference between the house and the boy,

Add the two things together and you should come up with this:

If you didn't come up with this answer, then you were wrong.

More on this and other subjects next week.
Your tutor
and friend,
Mickey

Shower Curtains

2010-04-02T13:16:00.007-04:00

Hello Readers!

I was away last week so I didn't write to you. This week I am back, and so I will write to you.

Well, the hand-printed shower curtain is finished and is Somewhat Disappointing. Annie didn't iron the prints long enough (you must iron them to set the ink), and much of the ink came out in the wash. Here is the shower curtain with two of the three final stamps done, pre-washing:

And here it is with all three stamps after being washed.

Perhaps we can get Our Roommate with the Sewing Machine to make us another plain curtain to try on. In any event, we were not entirely pleased with the color scheme, so it could be good to have another go at it.

We did, however, make some prints on paper of the "H Monster" print, based on a drawing by the elder weasel. These look terrific:

In better news, Annie is preparing to print our studio chaise with a pattern from by Lena Corwin, who wrote the great printmaking book that has inspired these projects, Printing by Hand. We got a screen made by the kind folks at RC Silkscreening in South Boston. It's beautiful in an of itself.

More on that next week.

Until then, rest assured,
that we wish you
a very Happy Easter,
or at least,
some very good chocolate,
your friends,
Harriet and Mickey

Flooding and Flat Files

2010-03-16T10:13:00.011-04:00

Hello Readers,

Here at the H&M headquarters we've had 3 DAYS STRAIGHT of rain. You know what this means: lots of water. Luckily we are situated in the attic and our roof did not leak. Here is a photo of the little brook that passes by our gentle abode.

In other news, we have recently acquired a set of Flat Files (grey ones).

This is a big improvement for the studio and will help keep our important papers flat. We have purchased several big items for the new studio, and I never miss an opportunity to have buyer's remorse.

The purchase of these particular Flat Files involved a Long Drive to a Remote Place, Stopping to Withdraw cash at an ATM, realizing that our ATM card was No Longer in Our Wallet, buying the weasels a Bag of Cheezits, and Convincing a Total Stranger to let us pay with a check. Naturally when it came time to inspect these Flat Files, I was not in the calm and detached state which is ideal for inspecting New Purchases.

When I got them home, I looked them over and thought, "What Have I Done? They are much too heavy and are probably not meant for storing paper at all!"

Do you have Any Idea how much they weigh? Thirty pounds per drawer! That's at least twice as much as I weigh. This was the onset of my buyer's remorse, which I have since recovered from. A local steelworker helped me carry them up to the attic, and so far the floor has not caved in.

In any event, they give the studio a very professional air, which is Much Needed.

I leave you here, cherished blogworm,
safe in the knowledge that our papers are flat,
and,
our roof doesn't leak.

Your good friend,
Mickey

New Studio

2010-03-10T12:03:00.012-05:00

Hello again readers!

You know Hector told me that some bloggers post daily to their blogs. But we all know that he is filled with all sorts of misconceptions about how the world actually works.

Today, in my second consecutive week of blogging, I am going to talk about our company's new headquarters. Did you know that this is our fourth location? First we were in the Fenway, then in Charlestown, then in West Newton, and now in Milton, Massachusetts. Harriet says pray God this is our last move. (I don't know what she's talking about. She didn't lift a finger during the move.)

Well. It's taken us quite a while to get settled, but the studio is beginning to shape up. Have a look.

This is my computer desk, where I am right now, writing to you!

These boxes hold paper and envelopes. For correspondence.

Here is our drawing table where Annie makes things by hand, the old-fashioned way.

This is our work table for framing and other projects, like printmaking.

And this is our new chaise for reading and company research. It's not quite in its finished state as Annie is going to screen print a cover for it.

I hope you've enjoyed your brief tour. Please know that you are always welcome to come visit us.

Your good friends,

Mickey and Harriet

Abashed

2010-03-02T11:08:00.010-05:00

Hello Readers,

I'm feeling a little abashed, which is what happens when you combine bashful and ashamed.

It's been a terribly long time since I last posted, and I know how much my multitudes of readers count on me for practical tips and general wisdom.

I was going to stage a photo and tell you that I was stuck between the mattress and the headboard for all this time, but you deserve better than that, devoted reader. The truth of the matter is that I was enjoying my new house. It's so lovely here! And generally hanging out with Bernice and Big Mickey.

"Where is Harriet?" you ask. Well, don't worry: she has a chair all to herself where she is less jostled. You know her condition.

Business at Harriet and Mickey has been somewhat slow, as a result, but we hope to pick up the pace here. Annie is at work on a shower curtain design that's based on the weasels' artwork. Here is the overall pattern:

And here is the first block print, carved out of rubber. They are very fun and easy to carve. It feels like carving cheese, really.

And that is all, devoted reader, for now.

Until next week,
I remain,
your friend,
Mickey

Animals Cohabitating

2009-11-06T12:08:00.004-05:00

Hello Readers,

I have been posting mainly about the animals I live with lately. My roommates, as it were. Very much like humans, we animals too run into personality conflicts and the like with each other. For instance, Harriet's recent obsession with healthfood. Or Johnny's constant buzzing around my Halloween candy. He keeps saying he's "just looking."

Anyhow. Things could be worse. Here is a video I came across this week of some animals cohabitating and not well.

I hope you're getting along with your roommates. After all, we all need a place to live.

Your friend,
and counselor,
Mickey

Health Food Nut

2009-10-30T14:20:00.008-04:00

Hello Readers!

Here I am. Back again. This time to tell you about Harriet who has gone off the deep end with her new health food kick. You know, I have heard this expression "health food nut" many times, but I always thought the nut part referred to eating nuts. No! It refers to crazy. My dear Harriet is almost a stranger to me now. Here she is luxuriating in a wheat berry bath.

She has purchased 25 pounds of wheat berries, which she claims she will eat after grinding them in her new German wheat mill.

And she is telling me that sugar is poison for me. She's telling me to stop eating sugar! This after I just bought 6 bags of candy for Halloween.

She is reading Sugar Blues by William Dufty, a very old book that was written in the 70s, long before I was born. She thinks my frequent irritability is caused by my sugar addiction. You know what's causing my irritability? The smell of whole wheat berries!

Dear reader, I hope that you don't have a food policeman in your house. And please think of me in this time of trial. Luckily I have six bags of candy to help me through.

Wishing you a Happy Halloween, [Harriet says, "Wishing you a Healthy Halloween]
I remain your
good dog,
Mickey

Sad Day

2009-10-23T14:48:00.006-04:00

Hello Readers,

It is with a heavy heart that I write to you that Alice the praying mantis has died. Annie stepped on her abdomen on her way into the house yesterday, spilling her innards onto the porch. What a beautiful creature needlessly killed! Annie of course felt terrible, though we can't help but think she might have been more careful about where she was stepping.

Alice's partner, Rodney, was nearby and witnessed the whole thing. He was very shaken up, although when I told him that Alice was planning on biting his head off as soon as they mated he did appear somewhat relieved.

Did you know that certain Buddhists stay indoors for a month each year so that they won't unintentionally kill any insects? Well, it's true! And Alice's death is a perfect example of why.

On a lighter note, I went apple picking with the weasels a couple of weeks ago, and I've been eating a lot of apples. Here is the younger weasel eating an apple in the orchard. Or, in other words, not actually picking apples. I can't recommend the weasels as apple picking companions. Although they are better than the wolf in The Three Little Pigs, who, as you may recall, invites the pig to go apple picking in order to eat him.

But enough about animals eating other animals and stepping on them, Harriet says. It is not what the readers want to read!

And so, with apologies for the sad news and violent subjects here within,
I remain,
your peace-loving friend,
Mickey

The Woodspider

2009-10-09T12:39:00.005-04:00

Hello readers,

As you know, we have several insect neighbors in our new home. As Harriet and I know little about our fellow inhabitants, I did some research online and found out some interesting tidbits about the wood spider. I have spotted several wood spiders out back, but haven't yet approached them. I do hope they aren't on crack.

That is all for now.

Until next week,
I remain, etc.
Your Mickey

We're Back!

2009-10-02T11:34:00.008-04:00

We're back! Did you think we'd ever return? We were not sure ourselves

We have some very big news for you, readers: we've moved!

Well. I know the first thing you're all probably wondering is whether our new house is haunted. The verdict is still out. Harriet, who is housebound has heard some curious noises during the day. And I caught a bird trying to peck its way into the house through the outer shingles. Most suspicious is a light in the stairwell that seems to turn on by itself. However nothing conclusive yet. Rest assured that I will keep you posted.

Here's Harriet, listening for ghosts and looking a bit worse for the wear after our move.

Otherwise the house is quite sufficient. We haven't got a cow, but have heard from the friendly neighbors that a family of chickens lived here for a time. I don't think chickens produce milk, but they can make eggs, which are also good.

As you may have noticed, careful readers, our neighbors here have so far proven very friendly. I wonder what George is doing these days. Possibly accusing the new tenants of stealing his flower pots?

I know you have a lot of questions about our new digs. I will try to satisfy some of your curiosity here. Our new house is on the slope of a hill and a brook runs nearby. The weasels moved along with Harriet and me. As did Hector. We have a couple of new roommates. There is a fruit fly named Johnny who rents out a room on the third floor, and a praying mantis couple who live on the porch.

Johnny

Alice (husband in background)

I don't generally associate with insects, but Johnny is very personable. (I can't say as much about the praying mantises.) He has a great deal of energy. Harriet complains that he spends a lot of time in the kitchen for someone renting out the third floor.

Well, I shan't tell you everything now. I ought to leave some for future entries. I hope your summer was relaxing and restorative.

Until the next,
I remain your faithful friend
and dog,
Mickey

Taking the Summer Off

2009-06-22T11:10:00.004-04:00

Hello Readers,

Harriet and I have both been disappointed with our irregular blog postings as of late. We are quite distracted by the moving of our World Headquarters from west of the Big City to east of it.

In addition, I have just gone strawberry picking and will need some time off to eat all my strawberries.

For these reasons, and two others not mentioned, we will not be posting to the blog this summer.

Please know, however, that you, dear reader, will be in our thoughts each and every day.

And that,
we will return,
in September.

Your faithful friends,

Harriet and Mickey

Followers!

2009-06-09T11:01:00.004-04:00

Hello friends!

It's me Mickey. Back again with some very excellent news. The Harriet and Mickey Chronicle now has followers. That is, you can click on the Followers button to the right of this, and become a bona fide follower. Bona fide means in good faith; it has nothing to do with dogs or bones.

All this new technology everywhere. It's hard to keep on top of it. Harriet doesn't even make an effort, but I encourage you to.

Your bona fide friend,
and companion,
in technology and out,
Mickey

The Old Man and the Sea

2009-06-09T10:46:00.006-04:00

Hello friends,

It is I, Harriet, writing for a change. Mickey is off somewhere. I can't keep track of him. He just ran out the door and said, "Harriet! Write the blog for me today!"

It is a rainy spring day here in Newton as I write. My favorite kind of day for keeping the window open and listening to the rain. I just finished reading The Old Man and the Sea last night. I believe I read it once before as a bunny, but my memory is poor. What a wonderful, clean book that is. I think I would like to learn more about Hemingway, that he could create such a wise character.

I, too, am old, but I haven't got the strength and endurance of Santiago. I do hope I have a small portion of his wisdom.

I wanted to reread the book after Annie showed me the following animation by Alexander Petrov. This movie was made for IMAX and was done by painting each individual frame on glass. It took him two and a half years to complete. The film is twenty minutes long. I hope you will watch it.

Your friend,
Harriet

Sex in the City Bunnies

2009-05-26T09:51:00.008-04:00

Hello Friends,

I hope your Memorial Day weekend was memorable. Ours was quite pleasant.

Today we are offering you another selection from Annie's animation class at Rhode Island School of Design; this one by Alicia Lane. Harriet and I found it very funny, though Hector is a bit offended at this portrayal of his kind. The dialogue is a clip from Sex in the City.

Until the next,
I remain,
your,
Mickey

Press

2009-05-19T14:50:00.005-04:00

Hello friends,

I have been neglecting the blog. I am very busy in ways that could be difficult for you to imagine. A dog of my kind... But here I am to bring you back up to date. Annie was in the news this week in the Newton Tab. The article featured one of my favorite illustrations of hers entitled "Barnyard Crime."

Click on it to make it larger.

This crime happened a few years back at Harriet's grandparents farm. You'll be interested to know that they never did find out who killed that fox. But he was a heartless fellow and no one misses him. Perhaps the killer shouldn't even be punished.

This is an ethical question that we won't address in the blog. I am not the Ethicist. You are, however, welcome to post your comments on this.

As always,
I remain,
interested in your opinions,
your good friend,
Mickey

Spring!

2009-05-05T12:38:00.005-04:00

Well Dear Readers,

Spring is here. With its sunshine and rain. Here at the world headquarters of H&M, Ink., the trees are blossoming.

Do you have seasonal allergies? Hector does (of course). He never goes anywhere without his "petit hankie," as he calls it. And of course he's using it as an excuse not to bring in the mail. "I can't go out of doors," he says with his French accent. "I can't." And then he blows his nose dramatically.

On one of our recent hot days, I went "out of doors" to go for a swing in the back yard, and the elder weasel shared her popsicle with me.

I hope you, too, are enjoying the spring, gentle reader. It is the best season after all, and we should treasure each day.

Your friendly
friend,
Mickey

e-Postcards Down!

2009-04-21T15:48:00.004-04:00

Dear Readers,

You won't believe what has happened. The e-postcard link on our website, where you can send virtual postcards to your friends, has been compromised! An evil-doer in cyberspace hacked into our code and was using it to propagate spam! We are still investigating, but we believe the suspect looks like this:

If you have any tips as to his whereabouts, please email us at stoptheevildoer@harrietandmickey.com.

In the meantime, the e-postcard link is down and OUT. A very sad bunny with striped trousers will let you know.

This is much like we felt when we heard the bad news.

I hope you haven't got a lot of e-postcards to send. You might consider sending paper ones until our site is repaired (long wait). Postcard stamps are 27 cents, but will rise in price in May. So send them now.

Your disappointed,
but not disspirited
friend,
Mickey

iPod Advice

2009-04-07T21:14:00.005-04:00

Hello Savvy Reader,

Do you own an iPod? Are you in contact with weasels or water? If so, please continue reading. Late on the morning of March 20th, an unidentified weasel placed my iPod on the bumper of my roommate's car. This roommate then drove to the car wash where said iPod was showered, soaped, waxed, and rinsed; at which point the roommate discovered my iPod. Too late!

My beloved iPod was ruined. How did I know? It didn't work! It won't charge! It makes clicking sounds when I plug it in!

Could this happen to you? It could!

Do you take baths?
Just minutes after this photo was taken, this bird dropped his iPod into the bathtub! Ruining it forever.

I urge all iPod owners to keep their iPods at a safe distance from weasels and water. Both can prove fatal to even the most hearty iPods.

And with that I leave you,
wishing you a not uneventful,
but safe week.

Your friend
and mentor,
Mickey

Hello!

2009-03-31T14:41:00.013-04:00

Hello Dear Readers!

I'm back from vacation and feeling very rested. I'm also tan. Not as tan as Big Mickey, of course, but we have different genetic backgrounds.

His breed is from somewhere near the equator whereas mine is from more northern parts. He needs to get more sun than me in order to get enough Vitamin D. But enough of the science lessons, eh, dear reader?

Do remember Leguana? The hot lizard I met in the Bahamas last year?

Well, I didn't tell you before I left, but we met up in Polynesia on the island of Tonga. How was it? It was wonderful. We picked up just where we had left off in our last long-distance phone conversation, and did so over another rum punch.

I don't think I'll ever be able to drink rum punch again without thinking of my lovely Leguana and our time in Tonga. The islanders are very hospitable, and we were treated like royalty (queen and king, not duke and duchess). Here is the Tongan chief greeting us as we stepped off our boat.

He looks very stern, but he's a lot of fun.

Well, I must get back to work. As you can imagine there is a pile of correspondence on my desk and many messes to straighten out from Hector's time alone in the office. Between you and me, I'm not sure that we will leave him in charge again.

Your friend,
and world-traveler,
Mickey

Bang and Booty

2009-03-16T20:39:00.006-04:00

Hello Readers,

It's time to open up the sketchbook. Here we have two entries: one entitled "Bang" and the other, "Booty."

They are fairly self-explanatory; which means that they explain themselves. If they aren't explaining themselves to you, here are some hints:

The Bang one is a picture of George, my neighbor, shooting the neighborhood raccoon. The Booty one is a picture of Amigo, the weasels' preschool rabbit greeting them at the entrance of their school.

Now I am off on an Polynesian vacation, so please don't expect to hear from me until late in the month. All inquiries until that time should be directed to Hector at hector@harrietandmickey.com. I would give you his phone line, but his English is so bad I don't think you'll understand him.

Your friend
and dog
in need of a vacation,
Mickey

In-Between

2009-03-09T11:41:00.005-04:00

Hello Readers!

Happy wintry mix. I really like the sound of "wintry mix" and I have named my new pet Mourning Dove that. Here she is.

Yesterday was spring and today is winter. We are in between here at Harriet and Mickey's. Neither here nor there, as they say. Not one thing or the other.

We have, however, turned our clocks back. Harriet is ignoring the time change and slept in this morning. She says Congress can't legislate what time she wakes up. I suggested that she move to New Hampshire where they Live Free or Die and also like to drive snowmobiles, but she didn't say anything back.

Yesterday I made a very small snow man.

The smallest one of the season. I'm trying to wean myself off of snowmen since spring is coming.

As you can see, there is little to report.

Yet I remain,
your steadfast,
loyal,
and friendly,
friend,
Mickey

Babysitting

2009-02-23T15:05:00.005-05:00

Hello Dear Readers,

Happy end of February. Did you watch the Academy Awards last night? Harriet and I did, even though we hadn't seen a single film that was in competition. Why? Because Harriet is always ordering up Noam Chomsky documentaries to whip herself into a dither, and The Dark Knight keeps getting pushed down in our Netflix queue. You wonder why Harriet looks so old-- it's because she never watches any Batman movies.

Anyhow, I had another busy week. The weasels' parents went away and left Harriet and me in charge. Now, normally I don't babysit (emphasis mine), but we worked out a deal so I agreed to look after them for a short time. I came up with a great project for them:

Until the next, I remain,
your resourceful friend,
Mickey

Going Starfishing

2009-02-16T15:46:00.010-05:00

Look here, readers!

Sarah Waldo Jagger thinks I'm cute! http://www.goingstarfishing.blogspot.com/ And she has posted several of Annie's pictures on her blog.

Plus, if you scroll down two entries you can see photos of the weasels' cousins Ellie and Chase doing a Valentine's Day activity. They are clearly more capable than the weasels whose biggest Valentine's Day effort was to stamp messy "H"s and "C"s on Spiderman cards.

Sarah is a famous clothes designer, and Hector is big fan of her work.

Harriet has her eye on Sarah's Gabby dress in yellow. I am going to get it for her for Mother's Day. You know how badly she needs a new dress.

Until the next,
I remain your cute,
Mickey

Otherwise Occupied

2009-02-16T15:20:00.008-05:00

Well Dear Readers,

It has been a while since I've written you. I have been Otherwise Occupied. This is a new term that Hector has learned and uses liberally. When I ask him why the daily report hasn't been submitted at four in the afternoon, he tells me, "I was Otherwise Occupied." As if this isn't obvious. What occupies him, I'll never know. Looking out the window at a squirrel most likely.

Or texting his girlfriend.

Well, I am writing you now-- so let's look on the bright side. I am getting adequate sleep and I am well fed. I still don't have a cow, but I am growing more concerned about my lack of a garden. I have a small plot of land here in the semi-suburbs, but it receives very little sun and I like tomatoes and eggplants. I continue to search out a better place to live.

You are probably wondering how I've been carrying on with my neighbor George. (Here he is right now, as we speak, doing something suspicious with a battery operated drill.)

Not bad! Thank you for asking. George has a snow blower and has been snow blowing the long sidewalk in front of my house. "Thanks, George," I said to him after he did it the first time.

"Well," he grumbled. "I might as well do it as long as I have snow blower."

Then I said: "It's good to have a snow blower." I can think of very few things to say to this man.

He said: "I don't have a snow blower. This is my son's. He gave it to me." Which, to me, would mean that it's his snow blower.

I could tell that George wanted to start a fight with me so I didn't say anything back. Not that I couldn't kick his ax in a fight. I am small, but I'm tough. As you know.

YFA (your friend always),
Mickey

Child Proofing

2009-01-29T12:18:00.004-05:00

Hello Reader,

My recent problems sleeping have introduced me to the term child-proofing. Possibly you are already familiar with it. Apparently they make a slew of gadgets that allow you to protect yourself from children and their unwanted side effects. I found one such device in my search for a good night's sleep, and I would like to share it with you.

It's a light switch protector.

You screw it on top of your light switch, and small children (the most dangerous kind) are unable to use it.

Every since I installed this $15 piece of plastic, I have slept soundly from 10:15 until 7 am. It has done wonders for my disposition.

Harriet has not been fazed by any of this as she can barely hear and wakes up at 4 am, in any event, as many old people do.

Until the next,
I remain your faithful dog,
full of helpful hints and general good advice,
Mickey

More Trouble with Hector

2009-01-15T15:05:00.006-05:00

Hello readers,

Some of you have been asking how Hector has been coming along. Not well. We still the same attitude problems. See this for further clarification.

Please write with any suggestions. In this economy I feel bad letting Hector go, especially when his girlfriend is counting on him for cheese and cigarettes, but we are not running a charity here at Harriet and Mickey's. As you know.

Your troubled friend and employer,
Mickey

Noise Machine Not Loud Enough

2009-01-07T12:43:00.004-05:00

Time

2009-01-05T10:35:00.000-05:00

Hello readers!

Happy New Year! Now it is 2009, eh? Time moves forward and change is inevitable, and so on. But I'm afraid it's all too true. The weasels, who until this point slept each in their own room, have now decided to share a room. Possibly they are feeling the effects of the economy.

Regardless of their impetus, the effect is that they are now waking together at 6 am (sometimes 5:15!) and making a great deal of noise. I am an equal member of this household. I pay my rent and on time. 6 am is not the hour at which I choose to rise!

Excuse my exclamation points, but I am very agitated! I have been considering a host of solutions. The first is to place some sort of large clock with large hands in their bedroom and tell them not to talk at least until the big hand is on the 12 and the small hand is on the 7. But the weasels are not bright (as you know) and this is beyond their capacities.

Another option is to disconnect the light in their room so that they can't turn it on. Perhaps the darkness will keep them quiet. But the light is wired in, and I am not an electrician. Nor is Harriet. Nor is Hector (obviously).

Finally I have considered placing a white noise generating machine next to my pillow to drown out the weasels' shouts. This is perhaps the easiest solution, and after I try it tonight I'll let you know how effective it is.

Your irritated and overtired,
friend
Mickey.

Broken Promise

2008-12-31T10:07:00.006-05:00

Dear disappointed reader,

I said I would write to you on Monday, and now it is Wednesday. I will not make excuses.

Here we are on the morning of the eve of the New Year. Are you ready? I have purchased a fine sparkling wine to pop open at midnight, or really, before midnight.

I was a little anxious about how I was going to get it open (Harriet's no more use in this than me), when Hector spoke up. Very occasionally Hector proves useful.

He said, "As a smull bibi, I was taught to open le champagne. I kin open eet while I am asleep! But thees is not le Champagne! Thees is from the Spain!"

As you well know, reader, buying bubbly is the easiest thing to do to prepare for the New Year. Much more difficult is coming up with proper New Year's resolutions. Here is my draft list:

1. Get a cow
2. Move

I am stuck here. I don't know quite where to move to, aside from it being suitable for a cow. And I also realize that I need one more resolution. One big resolution is acceptable, but two lesser ones require a third. I believe it will have to do with the allocation of my time. "Use time better." is too vague.

However. I still have several hours to sort it out, and so I leave you here, faithful reader.

Wishing you
a healthy, prosperous and peaceful New Year,
I remain,
your loyal advisor and
dog,
Mickey

Late Again

2008-12-19T16:18:00.007-05:00

Dear Readers,

The younger weasel doesn't know about interrogative pronouns. If you ask her where she's been, she says, "What?" It's not because she didn't hear you.

Neither weasel seems to understand Christmas. I've heard them ask to "go to Christmas" several times. Sometimes I wish they would go to Christmas.

Do you feel like I'm stalling? Why am I so late in writing you again? Well, the reason is I've been very consumed with a new cookbook called Nourishing Traditions. To make the things in this cookbook, you first need to get your own cow so that you can drink its milk. No processed milk!

I've been looking for a Jersey cow.

Once I get this cow, I need to feed it on rapidly growing grass. As you know, I have a small yard now with very slow growing grass. So this is another tricky problem.

Harriet says I should just use store-bought milk, but she hasn't read the book.

At the same time, I've been listening to a recording of Walden read by William Hope. He makes Thoreau sound completely unlikeable. In any event, Thoreau was not drinking fresh milk from his own cow, but he was baking his own bread. From what I gather, Thoreau's main point is that we should all live next to a pond.

This poses another problem for me, dear readers, as I live nowhere near a pond.

No cow, no grass, no pond. These are some of the reasons I have not written sooner. Yet I have a lot to say.

I will write again on Monday. I promise.

Your friend and advisor,
Mickey

Six Prune Kids in Trouble

2008-12-08T16:17:00.007-05:00

Hello Readers,

Oh, I have another great animation treat for you! Just below you will find another excellent movie by one of Annie's students. This one about a GANG FIGHT! Harriet and I live a rather protected life, and so we like from time to time to see some Real World Action.

The animation is by Toren Falck. The audio is from a Smithsonian Folkways recording. It's off the 1959 album called "Street and Gangland Rhythms, Beats and Improvisations by Six Boys in Trouble."

Thanks, Toren!

Your friends,
Harriet and Mickey

Kickin' Back

2008-12-02T09:42:00.008-05:00

Hello Readers,

Oh, I've missed you. I have been so distracted lately, by so many things, and I didn't write you last week, but I didn't forget you either.

I spent another Thanksgiving with my friends, watching movies and eating food.

Harriet wanted to watch Sicko, the documentary on the U.S. healthcare system by Michael Moore. I knew it wasn't a good idea. As you know, Harriet's health is fragile, and these movies can be very upsetting. Harriet doesn't have healthcare coverage.

I know what you're thinking! How can the co-founder of such a successful business venture as Harriet and Mickey, Ink. not have healthcare? Well, her application was denied. Too many pre-existing conditions. Harriet watched the whole movie with tears rolling down her face.

Thankfully (for it was a weekend to be thankful), she had her friends there to comfort her.

(From left to right: Bernice, me, Harriet, Big Mickey, and Hector)

I hope that you, too, reader, had a weekend to be thankful for. We all need friends around the holidays. And we all need healthcare.

Your friend,
Mickey

Coming Clean

2008-11-17T12:17:00.006-05:00

Ach! Dear readers! I missed a week!

Sorry! It all started when I realized I hadn't taken a bath in a while.

Look how filthy I was. Harriet was reading The Bookseller of Kabul in which people also bathe at long intervals, and she suggested that I consider taking a bath. Generally I don't like to bathe. It takes me a long time to air dry, and I don't like being flung about in a dryer.

But I took Harriet's advice and then spent last week in the window, waiting for sun to dry me. As you know, there was a great rain spell, and it took longer than expected. My apologies again. It does feel nice to be clean, and I imagine you too, reader, appreciate having a clean writer.

Here is a special treat to make up for it. A lovely animation by one of Annie's students with music from Bach's Well-Tempered Clavier:

Until next week, I remain
your clean and dry, correspondent,
Mickey

Fair Trade Candy

2008-11-03T09:40:00.009-05:00

Hello Readers!

Can you tell I've cheered up since last week? Do you want to know why? The answer is: Halloween Candy!

I've found another benefit of living with the weasels. They don't know how to trade. On Halloween they dressed up all cute like animals and scored a lot of candy from the neighbors. The one dressed as a rabbit was particularly good at milking her cuteness and got like three pieces of candy from each house.

When they got home, I inspected their loot.

And the next morning I explained trading to them.

They're not too bright, if you know what I mean ;)

Did I really complain about living with weasels? Living with weasels is great!

Your well-stocked friend,
Mickey

Help

2008-10-27T13:12:00.005-04:00

Oh readers,

I can think of nothing to write about today. I spent a miserable weekend at the bottom of a basket of stuffed animals. Illiterate riff raff. Can you spot me wedged between the grinning idiot tiger and gorilla?

My spirits are dashed. With Annie away on an important business meeting, I was left to the whims of two weasels and their unobservant guardian. I don't even know what the weather was like.

Thankfully Annie rescued me and restored me to my proper place and gave me a bourbon neat to revive me. Here I am with a couple of friends-- Bernice, the pig, and Big Mickey. We call him that because he looks like me, but we're not related.

I hope to have more to offer you next week.

Your friend, in suffering and in happiness,
Mickey

Weasels Hold Concert. No One Comes.

2008-10-20T09:41:00.002-04:00

Frog Goes on Walk Looking for Cure

2008-10-13T16:21:00.010-04:00

Hello Readers and Happy Columbus Day!

He may not have discovered America, but he was certainly a good sailor.

Well, this weekend was very busy. For one, I went to the circus. More on that in a later blog. For two, the Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk took place on Castle Island in South Boston. You may have heard of Alan's Angels. Well, they took part in this walk that raised over $278,000, and they were sporting our Orange Frog! This frog has never been on a pancreatic cancer research walk before, and here he is on an entire team of walkers!

[Click on image for a larger view.]

They sure look good!

Here at Harriet and Mickey's we are in favor of all kinds of walks. Walking is good for your health: walking uphill lowers triglycerides and walking downhill lowers your blood sugar. I like to eat sugar so I stick mainly to the downhill walks.

Happy walking to you this week,

Your friend,
and health advisor
and personal trainer,
Mickey

Apples

2008-10-07T12:24:00.012-04:00

Hello Fine Readers,

Do you like apples? I do. I like them right off the tree.

This weekend I went apple picking with the weasels. I picked 4 pecks and a bushel, and I carried them back from the orchard with a tractor.

How, you are wondering, were you able to reach the apples, being as short as you are? Well, curious reader, I didn't bring George's ladder, I brought my handy stool which I received for Christmas last year. I'm sure you remember.

When I got home, I made a pie.

People make a big deal about pies, and I am willing to eat them for breakfast, but I don't actually consider them dessert. Chocolate is more my thing, and I regret that there is not a chocolate picking season. However there are some seasonal chocolates of which I am very fond. They're only $14.

Here is to apple picking season and to chocolate all year round.

Your friend,
Mickey

Wild Turkeys!

2008-09-29T10:55:00.004-04:00

Good morning readers,

I hope you had a nice weekend. I had a very eventful one! You know I'm domesticated, right? A dog like me is very accustomed to humans. I can talk and type, and I don't wear clothes, but I do have opinions about fashion.

So it will come as no surprise to you that wild animals are strange to me. This weekend I was out for a small hike when I came across Wild Turkeys!

Naturally I was interested to get to know them better. "Hey, turkeys!" I shouted, but they ran away from me. I began to chase them, "Come back, it's just me, Mickey!" but they wouldn't listen-- they all squawked wildly.

It's so sad that they no longer trust their fellow animals. I think we could learn a lot from each other. I don't know if we'll get the chance to meet again.

And so, dear reader, if you are living in the wild, and you read this blog (which must be difficult), I ask that you give your domesticated cousins a chance. Many of us are very friendly.

Your tame dog and friend,
Mickey

Brain Training

2008-09-22T15:22:00.006-04:00

Hello Readers!

Have you noticed anything different about me lately?

Maybe the size of my Brain? It's like one-third the size of my body! Maybe that's because I use 54% of my brain, and the normal person uses 10%.

[click on image to make it bigger]

How do I do it? Through Brain Training, that's how! And you can too. I am here to tell you that by playing video games for just 1 hour or more a day, you can increase your brain usage by anywhere from 1-5% per day.

Look at me. I started at 8% usage, and now I'm up to 54% in just 2 weeks. I look smarter, and I feel smarter, too!

Hector isn't doing as well, obviously.

His brain training coach, Dr. Stevens, is very disappointed in him. (Aren't we all.)

My coach, Dr. Hurley, has a crush on me.

She says she's never had such a good student.

Well, dear readers, I didn't mean to be bragging here. I'm afraid Hector makes me very competitive. What I really would like to do is encourage you to play more video games and develop your brain. Before you know it, you'll be a lot smarter, too!

Your clever friend,
Mickey

Happy Birthday Mickey!

2008-09-19T12:09:00.003-04:00

Hello Readers!

Guess what? This week it was my birthday! As you may have already guessed, I'm a Virgo.

How old am I? Wouldn't you like to know!

Harriet threw a big party for me with balloons, streamers and the works. Just like I like it. Here's some video from the Big Day:

As you can see, the weasels interfered. As Usual. And I lost my birthday wish. I will tell you what it was: to live to be as old as Harriet.

Have a happy week,
your birthday boy,
Mickey

Back to School

2008-09-08T10:29:00.007-04:00

Hello loyal readers,

Well it is back to school here at Harriet and Mickey headquarters. The weasels are off at some school playing with their lunch boxes. This seems to be their main interest in school, and if they were subjects, they would excel at both Snack and Lunch. Here they are with their most prized possessions:

There is a wonderful peace and quiet about the place now. And if it weren't for Hector, who is constantly asking to be put in charge of things, I would be a completely happy dog.

Harriet asked me to thank you all for the cards and well wishes. Many of you have asked what exactly is wrong with Harriet, and Harriet has kindly listed all of her ailments.

1. Fading facial features, including varicose veins. No longer able to see clearly.

2. Right hand tearing. Very painful to manipulate things and type. Harriet is right-handed.

3. Left hand tearing. Same as above.

4. Holes in pockets holding children. No discomfort, but makes it embarrassing to go out in public.

5. Torn feet. Nearly impossible to walk.

Still, Harriet is a trooper and only occasionally complains. She asked me to emphasize that she is still "as sharp as a tack" and "very active in the organization." All true.

Have a good week, dear readers.

Your friendly correspondent,
Mickey

Give Me a Break

2008-08-25T07:00:00.003-04:00

Dear Reeders,

It is I, Hector,

who am writing you in defense of my good name. I am afraid that your friend, Mickey, exaggerate when he tell you that I take 5 breaks a day. I only take the 2 breaks.

I admit I do smoke, and it is a dirty habit, but you must forgive me. I am afraid that if I quit the smoking, I will grow fat like an American, and I have the very expensive clothes which I cannot make bigger. I do not want to make them bigger!

Also, the gym is not my style. In France I like to take the walk after my lunch, but here Mickey is always saying, "Work work work, Hector, you lazy frog," and he will not let me take the walk.

I want to get along with Mickey, but I am afraid he is, paranoïaque, as we say in French. He have, I think, a Napoleon complex. He is a very small dog after all, and I am a larger rabbit.

And, so I ask you, mon cheri reader, to give me, your Hector, a chance to prove myself. I am a good rabbit, and I will not sink the ship.

Sincerely,
Hector

Slacking

2008-08-19T15:42:00.005-04:00

As you all know from the Press Release--

Where are my manners?

Hello, devoted Reader, and thank you for visiting The Harriet and Mickey Chronicle-- Harriet and my weekly contribution to our loyal fans.

You know in the past I've complained about the youth, that is, the weasels. But it turns out that even the older youth, that is, Hector, has very annoying traits. When I was Hector's age (23), I spent my mornings in the gym lifting weights

and doing yoga.

I held the door for my elders on the way out, even though I was carrying both my gym bag and my fruit smoothie.

Hector, on the other hand, can't be bothered to get up early enough to exercise and spends his breaks (all 5 of them) smoking.

As you all know from the Press Release, Hector is interning this month and is due to start work on the day after Labor Day, a holiday that Hector does not understand, and not because he is French.

I am very concerned about this, as I'm sure are you. Will Hector's incompetence drag down this very successful enterprise? Will Hector continue to smoke outdoors when the weather turns cold? Many questions have been swirling around in my brain and making me lose sleep. And I am not at my best without nine hours of uninterrupted sleep. Are any of us?

Here I am, two days late with this Chronicle entry, forgetting my manners, barely keeping my eyes open as I type, and giving you-- my most cherished readers-- no tips, no advice, no good cheer.

Please keep me in your thoughts.

Your dog in duress,
Mickey

The Tale of Despereaux

2008-08-12T11:51:00.012-04:00

Dear loyal readers,

We were flooded with mail and calls here at Harriet and Mickey this week in reaction to the big Hector news. It's true there were some minor disputes about Hector's position in the firm, stipend, etc., but it has all simmered down now. Hector is out getting me coffee as we speak. And so I believe, he finally understands his place as an intern.

Thank you for all your concern.

On another note, I would like introduce you to a wonderful book I read a little while ago called The Tale of Despereaux: Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup, and a Spool of Thread. Naturally, as a small dog, I am interested in stories of other undersized creatures, and this Despereaux fellow is quite wonderful and brave. I like to think I would act similarly if I were placed in such a position-- that is, in a dungeon filled with rats.

The pictures of Despereaux are fantastic and done by a greatly admired illustrator Timothy Basil Ering.

I also see that there is a movie called Despereaux coming out this winter. I like to think that before my time is through, I , too, will be on the Big Screen, but that my ears will be portrayed in a more flattering light.

I wonder who would play me?

Yours in print and on film,
Mickey

PRESS RELEASE: HECTOR JOINS HARRIET AND MICKEY TEAM

2008-08-06T12:24:00.007-04:00

For immediate release.

Hector, Harriet's nephew from France, will be joining Harriet and Mickey, Ink. as of September 1st. He will be serving as an intern during the month of August.

Hector, 23, has a degree in sociology. "I am really really happy to be joining my aunt's world-famous company," Hector said in an interview.

Asked what he would be bringing to the organization, he said, "I think I can bring a French taste to the organization and to help Mickey to get along better with the people."

Harriet and Mickey have indicated that the name of the company will remain "Harriet and Mickey", not "Harriet, Hector and Mickey," as some have speculated.

"Even when my aunt, she dies," said Hector, "I cannot imagine replacing her."

Harriet said she is not dead yet, but hoping to retire soon. The company released a group photo to staunch rumors that there has been inside fighting.

George My Neighbor

2008-07-28T15:32:00.006-04:00

Hello reader,

Do you get along with your neighbors? Well, good for you.
I don't.

I have problems with my neighbor, George.

My first problem has to do with his idea of landscaping. Which is to repaint his cement steps and patch his cinder block wall.

After I took these pictures, I shouted at him, "Hey George, why don't you plant some grass?"
He turned around, but he couldn't see me.

More recently he accused me a stealing his 10-foot ladder. He came right up to me with a smirk on his face and asked if I'd seen his ladder. He looked at me and then looked up at my house which is very tall. "It might be useful for someone like you."

"Are you trying to say I'm short, George?" I asked him.

"Twenty years I've lived here and nothing like this has ever happened before," he said.

"Did you call the police?"

"No, what are the police gonna do." And then he talked to me for another 20 years about how his ladder was on his garage and someone took it off, and his fat son was probably home and didn't even see it. All the while, he kept looking over my shoulder like I was hiding the ladder in my back yard.

Finally I told him I had to go.

"Twenty years!" he said, for the billionth time.

Dear reader, I hope you don't have a neighbor like this and that you are spending these warm days sipping a cool drink with your neighbors.

Your friendly friend, and good neighbor,
Mickey

We're Back!

2008-07-21T12:20:00.007-04:00

Hello readers!

I missed you. Did you miss me?

You probably want to know what we did on our vacation. Well, for one, we went out to see Harriet's relatives in Boonville, NY. That's the actual name of the town where Harriet spent her brief youth.

Harriet's hutch was just up this street on the right. I am going to ask her how many times she's hopped under this bridge.

Harriet's people aren't particularly friendly. And I made a big effort, too.

I think they are intimidated by a hip city dweller like myself because some of them wouldn't even give me the time of day.

Not that it really matters what time it is when you're in Boonville.

There's not a lot going on. Harriet's cousins have a parking meter in front of their house, and they think that's really funny.

But this won't be my last trip to Boonville. I'll be back for the County Fair. I'm going to take the weasels to the hot dog pig races, and I want to see the demolition derby.

Until next week,
signing off,
your roving reporter and hip dog,
Mickey

Blog Vacation

2008-07-01T14:31:00.002-04:00

Dear Loyal Readers,

I will be taking a blog vacation until Monday, July 21st.

I will miss you, and I hope you will reciprocate.

Yours, as usual and always,
Mickey

Chinatown Bus- Fung Wah!

2008-06-23T10:55:00.012-04:00

Dear Savvy Reader,

Do you like it when I call you savvy? Guess what? This weekend I went to the big city. I had some private matters to attend to. How did I get there? On the Chinatown bus. Fung Wah! I like to say it like I'm making a karate chop.

Fung Wah means magnificent wind, but Fung Wah buses aren't magnificent. In fact, if you are indeed savvy, you will avoid this line. Their safety record is poor. I must admit I made a grave mistake in choosing them.

My voyage began happily enough.

But part way there-- whether due to the swaying of the bus, the smell of fried food mingled with air freshner, or the fabric pattern of the seat covers-- I grew ill and lost my cookies in the red plastic bags they so kindly provide.

Yet, I am grateful to be alive. As you have seen from the link above, not everyone involved with them is.

And so this is a happy sad happy entry.

Wishing you safe travels,
I remain,
your loyal friend,
Mickey

Baseball

2008-06-16T12:37:00.010-04:00

Well sports fans, it's baseball season, and this week I went to the game. My favrit thing about a baseball game is the watery beer and peanuts. What I like best is throwing my shells all over the place. Harriet gets all uptight about this. She likes Cracker Jacks because they're less messy. And there's a surprise inside.

My good friends over at WEEI, where I sometimes freelance as a sports authority, invited me up to the booth to get out of the heat and have some Dunkin Donuts. The view in the booth is pretty good.

It helps a small dog like me to get up above the fray.

Wishing you some time above the fray,
I remain, your good sport,
and loyal friend,
Mickey

Angels

2008-06-11T15:44:00.010-04:00

Hello savvy readers,

It's your savvy dog here, ready to pass along some savvy info. On money angels! Did you know that they exist? Well, they do.

Do you like chain mail? Harriet HATES it. Don't get her started on that. Normally I don't like it either, but this one works!

Here is the content of the email:

"Money Angel
This is a money angel Pass it to 4 of your good friends, or family and be rich in 4 Days.
Pass it to 12 of your good friends or family and be rich in 2 Days...
I am not joking. You will find an unexpected windfall. If you delete it, you will never know!
SHE WORKS, SHE REALLY WORKS!!"

I am passing it on to all of my good friends in one day so I calculate that I will be rich almost immediately after sending it.

I advise you to send it on to your friends and family even sooner so you can be rich yesterday.

Your pre-rich friend and financial advisor,
Mickey

Let's Go Fly a Kite

2008-06-02T11:09:00.006-04:00

Hello dear readers,

Did you have a nice weekend? I am happy to report that I did. In fact, I got on splendidly with the weasels this weekend and have discovered that we have something in common. What is that?

We all like flying kites.

Perhaps it's our small size that makes us like launching things into the air and watching them fly around high in the sky-- like an extension of our selves that's really tall. I made a video to show you.

Yours in flight,
Mickey

Run Down

2008-05-26T21:19:00.006-04:00

Hello Loyal Reader,

I hope you enjoyed your Memorial Day. I spent my day looking for new sources of energy. Weasels are well-known carriers of all sorts of viruses, pestilences and general contagions. And a small dog like me is liable to contract one now and then.

My last bout with illness has left me feeling lifeless and dull.

I have tried coffee and chocolate with some results: shakiness and excess fat. And now I am exploring energy drinks.

I like the orange ones because they look energetic, and I hope to be back on top of my game next week.

Yours in sickness and in health,
Mickey

Automata

2008-05-20T14:33:00.006-04:00

It's Harriet here. Mickey is too tired to write today, and yesterday too, so I am taking a turn. Why is Mickey so tired? Perhaps it's from those late night talks on the phone with Leguana.

I would like to talk to you today about The Invention of Hugo Cabret. It was listed as a book we were reading this spring, but it deserves more attention. It's a very thick picture book/novel about a little boy who discovers a broken automaton. An automaton is a mechanical contraption that can perform tricks, like sing or dance. The best part of the book is the wonderful illustrations by Brian Selznick.

Here is a cool video of a mechanical book from the automata blog.

It kind of sounds like Mickey getting a massage.

Yours in books,
Harriet

Vacation

2008-05-12T11:52:00.001-04:00

I know you all want to hear about my vacation. And luckily I took pictures! And videos!

It's a long trip to the Abacos. Or Los Abacos, as I like to call them when I'm speaking Spanish. You have to ride on a small propellor plane that's about 30 years old with a moaning engine that gets loud and soft, loud and soft like any moment it's going to stop altogether. I know I seem like the fearless type, but when we passed over the ruins of a plane wreck, I thought my dear reader, that I might never write to you again.

Naturally the first thing I did when I arrived was to get a massage to soothe my nerves. Can you hear the waves crashing in the background?

After this I had a rum punch, which is what the natives drink. Look at this cutie.

Her name is Leguana. Leguana and I shared quite a few rum punches. And there's much more to tell, but I must sign off

Assuring you that your most
devoted friend will relate more of his Bahamas adventures
in the next installment,
I remain,
Mickey

Vacation! Vacation?

2008-05-01T11:52:00.000-04:00

Dear Reader,

Guess what? As you read this, I will be on vacation-- and without the weasels. That is what's called a double vacation. I have been invited on a group trip to the Abacos Islands in the Bahamas. Sounds lovely, doesn't it?

The only problem is I know nothing about it. I have relied completely on my friend Rachel

who is planning this thing to celebrate her 6th birthday. My 6th birthday is coming up, so I like to view this as my birthday trip, too. Did you know 6 is the new 5?

Anyway, I write this entry first so that you might know that I am an international traveler, and second so that you will notify the police if you don't see another entry from me next week.

Why? Because I have just finished reading Saving Fish from Drowning. In this book, unprepared tourists are abducted by a religious cult and made to eat insects. They nearly die from malaria! Why? Because they blindly follow their tour guide and do whatever they're told. And this, dear reader, has been exactly my own behavior. I don't even know how to pronounce Abacos, let alone find it on a map. I may be walking into a giant cult trap.

I know some of my readers may see me as a savior as sorts, but what if these native Bahamanians take this literally and expect me to deliver them from their miserable but sunny existence?

Please keep me in your thoughts, dear reader, and you will be rewarded.

Yours on vacation,
Mickey

True Story by Alison Cowell

2008-04-28T11:47:00.004-04:00

Hello Devoted Reader,

Today, I would like to share a friend's true story with you. A cautionary tale.

(Click on images to make them bigger.)

Yours at breakfast,
Harriet

Good Weather

2008-04-21T11:38:00.007-04:00

Well, Dear Reader,

The weather around here sure has been lovely, hasn't it? This is where I live in the house with the pool and the indoor jacuzzi in the bottom left corner.

I have been tagging along with the weasels to the playground. While they steal other kids' toys, I have been sketching the natives.

I'll tell you what. They're none too bright.

Until the next,
I remain,
as usual, etc.,
Mickey

Money Saving Tip

2008-04-15T17:47:00.009-04:00

Dear Reader,

We have promised you helpful tips that you can't find anywhere else, and we mean to deliver.

What if I told you you never have to buy rubber bands again? Too good to be true?

No! And I'm not going to tell you to reuse the fat blue rubber bands around the broccoli either. These rubber bands are a perfect size and usefulness for almost every use.

Where can you get them? The post office parking lot!

Your very own mail couriers are dropping these little pearls all over the place, and all you have to do is bend down and pick them up. Just yesterday I scored 5 in one small area.

One was broken, but that's unusual.

Short and sweet. That's this week's contribution.

Until next,
I remain,
your faithful and resourceful friend,
Mickey

Music

2008-04-07T10:06:00.009-04:00

Dear Weekly Reader,

Many of you have been asking me what kind of music I like, and today I will address that. What I like to do is find a song that I love and then listen to it over and over until I can't stand it anymore.

Presently my favorite song is Polaren Per Är Kärlekskrank by Cornelis Vreeswijk.

What's that? You've never heard of him? Well, maybe it's because he's Swedish.

As most of you probably don't know Swedish, I have helpfully included a brief translation of the song:

My pal Per is sick even though his shirt is clean.
He likes a girl named Ann-Katarin Rosenblad, who doesn't care about him.
Whenever Per is near her, he blushes, but Ann-Katarin doesn't.

She is the toughest lady in town.
She's harder than granite.
When my pal Per finds this out, he says, "Son of a bitch!"

One night she invited him over and they drank a mass of fantastic alcohol.
She can tolerate a lot!
She drank eight consecutive drinks without blinking!
"Son of a bitch!" said Per.

Per had a guitar and he sang her a song.
Then he asked for a kiss and she gave him a fat lip.

But eroticism's power is big, as you know
First she said "no" and later she said "yes."
"Son of a bitch!" said Per.

I bet you're surprised that I know Swedish. Well don't be! I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve.

Your constant friend and advisor,
Mickey

Earth Hour

2008-03-31T10:42:00.005-04:00

Dear Loyal Reader,

You've probably been wondering where I've been. Well, I've been vacationing in sunny Florida. I know I should have told you sooner so you wouldn't have worried, but what can I do now?

I hope that you celebrated Earth Hour this past weekend as Harriet and I did. Harriet was reminded of her childhood in rural Vermont with no electricity and running water. I was reminded of the time the power went out.

We lit candles and read, and fell asleep soon after, nearly lighting the house on fire.

It's good to be back home, dear reader. I hope you missed us as much as we missed you.

Your devoted friends and advisors,
Harriet and Mickey

Tax Tips for the Rich and Poor

2008-03-17T10:51:00.010-04:00

Dear Reader,

It is with great pleasure that I announce today that I've completed my 2007 taxes. You know how tech-savvy I am, so it can't come as any surprise to you that I used TurboTax.

Here's the bad news first: I owe $212,028 in state taxes and $1,504,972.00 in federal taxes for the $4 million dollars I made signing a book contract for What Mickey Knows.

But I offset this with...

TIP #1: Take a trip to Las Vegas.
Pay off your tax burden and have a good time. Go to the Wynn Las Vegas for the weekend and win big. I did. There's no income tax and you can make enough money to pay off your tax bill.

That was all good, but when I came to my Massachusetts state tax return, I found out that I was going to be penalized for not having health insurance. Do I look like I need health insurance?

This had me down until I realized...

TIP #2: Become a Christian Scientist
Avoid any penalty fees by changing your religious affiliation.

All you have to do is fill out this application.

So now I'm a Christian Scientist and rich and my taxes are done. I hope this news cheers you up. It certainly has cheered me up.

Until we meet next,
I remain your devoted
and scientific,
Mickey

Annie Update

2008-03-09T17:12:00.007-04:00

This is a democratic blog. Sort of. It's not really a capitalist blog, more like a communist blog. Harriet is a total commie. Anyhow, the point is that some of our support staff have asked to post occasionally on the blog, and as I am a big dog, I have agreed. Here is Annie:

Hello all and thank you, Mickey, for letting me post today. I thought I would share a few images from a children's book I am working on. I actually have two books in the works-- one is a chapter book for 10-12 year-olds about a mouse named Pious who wants to be a preacher.

The other is a toddler picture book about a father rabbit trying to get his daughter rabbit to eat. Here is a spread from that. Click on the images to make them larger:

It's Mickey again. Thank you, Annie, for your post. And thank you, dear reader, for your loyal support.

Yours,
in winter
and in spring,
Mickey

Poopy

2008-03-04T17:25:00.003-05:00

Occasionally the weasels come up with a good idea. Recently the older one has been coming up with some great uses for the word "poopy." Maybe you would like to use "poopy" more in your daily conversations, but you don't know how...

Harriet and Mickey to the rescue! Here is a video tutorial to help you out.

Until next week,
as usual,
yours, etc.,
Mickey

Ethics

2008-02-22T16:01:00.012-05:00

Do you think that what people don't know can't hurt them? I was just eating some of the weasels' Valentine's Day candy, and thinking that it can't. The oldest weasel got two-thousand heart-shaped, cherry-flavored lollipops in her Valentine's Day bag. Those things will rot your teeth.

The great thing about a young weasel is that you can steal freely from it. Most things, anyway.

Sometimes the pressure of having an A+ blood type gets to me, and I break down and eat a lot of candy. Do you ever do that? It's not easy having the highest grade blood flowing through you day and night.

Now I will tell you a story:

Once upon a time there was a dog named Mickey, who was very smart and very healthy. He had a best friend named Harriet who was old and decrepit but could still talk and think and eat.

One day Harriet caught Mickey stealing candy from some young animals. She got all judgmental and scolded him. The next day Mickey noticed something brown on Harriet's mouth. It turned out that she was stealing candy, too.

Do you know what the moral of this story is?

My horoscope says that next week promises to be a better week for the blog. This moon eclipse has got me all screwed up.

Until more interesting times,
I remain,
your host and friend,
Mickey

My Blood Type

2008-02-18T09:41:00.009-05:00

You're probably wondering what my blood type is. Well it's A+-- that's A plus. If I went to school, this is the grade I would get. There is a book called Eat Right 4 Your Type: The Individualized Diet Solution to Staying Healthy, Living Longer & Achieving Your Ideal Weight, which I read cover-to-cover. I do want to stay healthy and live longer. Harriet didn't read this book and look at her.

I already am at my ideal weight.

Not to brag. If anything I could use a little more stuffing. But that's another problem involving the Weasels.

What they recommend for the A plus diet is that you eat only the most healthy things. Which is why I eat organic fruit poptarts.

I eat them both toasted and straight from the box (raw).

If you're eating raw, that's what you should do.

If you want specialized recommendations for your blood type, please email me at mickey@harrietandmickey.com

Until next week,
I wish you good health.
Your friend and advisor,
Mickey

Fish and Other Fishy Things

2008-02-10T21:35:00.000-05:00

Hello Reader!

Guess what? This weekend Harriet and I went to the aquarium and saw some fish. This certain aquarium that we repaired to has an enormous tank in which all of the fish animals swim. Little fish, big fish, turtles, sting rays, and sharks. The official line is that they don't eat each other because they are well fed. Not so! While I was there, a large turtle demolished a fish, chomping it up and spewing raw fish debris all over the tank. It reminded me of the eating habits of a certain weasel I know. I also witnessed a sting ray biting the back of another sting ray. There was a brief scuffle, and I was splashed. Don't worry, I'm alright.

This leads me to my first point, which is that you can't believe what people tell you, no matter how important or official they seem.

Some turtles can't get enough to eat, no matter how much you feed them. Which also calls to mind that weasel referred to earlier.

Fish aren't particularly friendly. This is my second and final point. I suppose this is where the expression "as cold as a fish" comes from. I am a friendly dog. I don't think anyone would question that, and as I tried over and over to get the attention of the fish going by, I was snubbed repeatedly.

Some creatures were downright rude.

I thought this one might have been smiling at me.

But Harriet disagrees.

And really, if they weren't outright rude, they were just unrepsonsive.

I am probably being over sensitive. I feel this same way about the people in the town I live in, and yet many people are very happy living here.

But don't let me discourage you from going to your own aquarium. Just put on your thick skin and lower your expectations. Some of the fish are really quite lovely.

And with that, I leave you, until next week, I remain, your faithful and friendly dog, Mickey.

Harriet Still Sharper Than Mickey Even Though Predemented

2008-02-03T15:33:00.000-05:00

This is Harriet.

You know, it's kind of curious that Mickey would write that I am predemented. Is he a fortune teller? How can he tell that I'm going to be demented in the future? I never went to a doctor, and that scan Mickey claims is of my brain is just a Photoshopped version of a scan he found on the web. He's really into Photoshop now that he found some Photoshop tutorials that are made just for him.

I may not look as good as I did when I was in my prime, but my brain is still youthful. Sure, I forget names and dumb blog entries, but that is because my brain is occupied with more important things.

Here's what I like to do:

And here's what Mickey likes to do:

You be the judge.

Yours respectfully,
Harriet

Harriet Pre-Demented

2008-01-30T12:06:00.000-05:00

Well, it has finally happened. Harriet has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's in the predementia stage. If you ask me, she's fully in the dementia stage, but doctor knows best. I took her to the doctor, and she scanned her brain and saw some darkened sections. Here are the results:

The reason why I took Harriet to the doctor is that she kept forgetting things: to change her clothes, to post the blog on Sundays when it was her turn, what movies she'd seen, the names of the weasels. And so on. It's interesting because in The Sopranos episode I just watched Tony (who's in a coma) has a dream that he's got Alzheimer's. And the book Harriet's reading is also about Alzheimer's. Things come in 3s, don't they?

Harriet knows she's pre-demented, and she isn't too fazed. She says she'll still post to the blog. This is just so you know.

I am not predemented.

The Secret

2008-01-21T10:18:00.000-05:00

Dear Reader,

Have you heard about The Secret? If you imagine what you want with enough clarity and depth, you will attract it to you. I have had some success. For instance, the other day I ran out of Uni-ball pens, which I like to write with. I sat down and pictured myself receiving a small box of these, and the next morning at the gym, while I was doing my stretches, I discovered one right in front of me.

(I don't show it here, because this is actually a reenactment, and as you'll soon discover, I didn't keep the pen.) Did the universe place this pen there just for me? I wasn't sure. Maybe someone dropped it, and they were going to come looking for it in a minute.

For this reason, and because I knew that a guy on the elliptical machine was watching, I didn't take the pen home. However I still think this counts as the Secret working.

Annie made a comic of her skill at employing The Secret, which needs some fine-tuning:
Click on the comic to make it larger.

And now, I sign off.

Until next week, I remain,
Yours truly,
Mickey

Weasels

2008-01-13T16:01:00.001-05:00

Do you like weasels? Maybe you do, but do you live with them?

Let me first say that a weasel is not a rodent. Rodents have teeth that keep growing. Weasels' teeth stop growing. Weasels actually eat rodents.

Dogs don't really get along with weasels. Do you know why? Because weasels are annoying.

I live with two annoying weasels. One rubs toothpaste all over her face and snaps crayons in two.

The other is incessantly performing show and tell.

Does she think I care about her dumb toy? I left pre-school a long time ago, and not a moment too soon.

We all have to live with our roommates' irritating habits, isn't that true? But some roommates are worse than others.

The Harriet and Mickey Chronicle is sponsoring a contest for our vast readership. Send us your annoying roommate stories, and if you have the most annoying roommate, you'll win a weasel-filled weekend. Yes! We'll ship our weasels to you, free-of-charge, for one full weekend (Friday night included) and when they leave (Sunday at midnight) you'll never complain about your roommate again.

Send your entry to mickey@harrietandmickey.com. Please put "annoying roommate" in the subject line.

As always we remain,
your devoted,
Harriet and Mickey

Etiquette

2007-12-31T16:19:00.000-05:00

This isn't strictly a blog about etiquette, but recently one of our readers wrote in about a problem. What do you do when you have visitors and you don't want to share your Christmas candy with them? Should you hide it? Should you eat it all before they arrive?

These are all good questions, and I am going to attempt to answer them in a satisfactory manner. First of all, you shouldn't eat it all before they get there, because then you won't have any left when they leave-- which is exactly the outcome you're trying to avoid.

Hiding it is a good idea, but what if they ask, "Where is all that candy I gave you for Christmas?" While this is rude on their part, you will still need to reply. And what will you say?

Here is what I propose. Take a small portion of your Christmas candy, choosing from among the candy you like least, and put it in a cabinet. Not exactly hidden, but not in plain view. If your visitor asks for it, you can tell them where it is and possibly offer them some.

With any luck, they won't ask for it, won't see it, and you'll be scott free!

And that's just another handy tip from The Harriet and Mickey Chronicle, where you'll find some of the web's most insightful commentary and advice.

Yours truly,
Harriet

Christmas

2007-12-27T15:31:00.000-05:00

Whew. Harriet says we're supposed to write in this blog every Sunday, but look, I've been too busy. You can't imagine how much candy there is around here and how distracting that is to me. I have a big stash, in a location which will remain undisclosed.

Did you get many presents? Harriet didn't, but I did. Well, it was mostly candy. Otherwise I got one real present which I believe is a stool. Harriet is all like talking about the true meaning of Christmas but secretly wishing she knew where I'm keeping my candy.

Do you ever get presents and not know what they're for? One time I got a jar of Bag Balm, which is a balm for cow's udders. Do I look like a cow?

So this is my stool.

It's a little tricky to get onto. And it has no back rest, which makes it uncomfortable to sit in after a short time. But I will send out a thank you note, nonetheless.

Dear Santa,

Thanks so much for my stool! Did your elves build it in the shop? Do you think you can get them to make a back rest and stairs for it?

Love,
Mickey

And now I will leave you with a thank you note tip. If you get a present that falls short of your modest Christmas wishes and you don't know what to say about it, use a lot of exclamation points!!!

Catch you later,
Mickey

Trapped

2007-12-16T16:51:00.000-05:00

I have been trapped inside all day with the weasels so I am in no mood for chit chat. Let's get right to the point. It's been snowing a lot, and I don't have a hat. I volunteered to shovel the front steps just to get the heck out of the house.

It took me a while, but not long enough.

Meanwhile, Harriet has been reading The Drama of the Gifted Child, and growing very critical of the weasels' upbringing. Here is a recent conversation we had:

Harriet: "It's not right what they're doing to those children."

Me: "Who? The weasels?"

Harriet: "Yes, the weasels. These years are critical for their emotional health as adults. Every child is gifted, and their parents are abusing this gift. Did you see how they wouldn't give that one cheese puffs?"

Me: "What are you talking about? You know, Harriet, you better keep out of this. You're not even a god parent."

Harriet: "I'll do what I want."

Well, I am keeping out of it, for the most part. Harriet asked me to post this video.

Weather

2007-12-09T20:57:00.001-05:00

Do you listen to the weather forecast? This week it snowed in my back yard, and I built snow man.

It wasn't easy with weasels gouging its eyes out to eat the raisins, but I am happy with the results.

You're probably wondering what the extra stick in the back of his head is. It's a special antenna that allows him to transmit his thoughts into outer space. Kind of like a blog except that it's invisible. Who knows if anyone's receiving them.

Where's Harriet?

2007-12-03T21:21:00.000-05:00

A lot of people have been asking, "Where is Harriet?" "Why doesn't Harriet post?" Well, the sad truth is that Harriet isn't feeling well and is in a sort of protected living space.

Where we live is potentially very dangerous. In the same way that the savannah is. You're eating grass and basking in the sun when suddenly a lion mauls you.

Harriet is now in the observing stage of her life. She's no longer a participant. It's not like she ever did that much or had that much to say, but when she did say something it was always very sharp. She may post occasionally, but she's too tired today.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-25T21:42:00.000-05:00

You are all wondering how my Thanksgiving was. I know. FIRST let me tell you that I am not a fan of this holiday. It appears to me that you sit around all day waiting to eat, and then you eat some of the dullest food imaginable. Everyone makes such a big deal over cranberries and stuffing, but if they are so good, why do we not eat them more often? Turkey? Do you know how many turkey sandwiches I eat every week? About four. Why would I want to spend all day cooking a turkey?

The only good thing about Thanksgiving is the being thankful part. It is good to give thanks; this is true. Here are four things I'm grateful for (not including my Shark and my Steamboy): 1. my digital camera 2. red wine 3. the Sopranos 4. Harriet.

This Thanksgiving, I decided to stay home and play cards with my friends Big Mickey and Bernice. No boring relatives, no boring food, no boring football. And best of all, no weasels! They went to see their grandmother in Utica for the holiday.

Until next week, I remain yours, etc.,
Mickey

The Most Important Thing

2007-11-18T17:12:00.001-05:00

Okay. This is my first real post. What I'd like to talk about first is
house cleaning. The most important thing is keeping my black and white
tiled floor clean.

Certain weasels and other rodents track in leaves
and DIRT. Here is a photo of me with my SHARK! and another of me with
mySteamboy.

Welcome to my blog!

2007-11-18T16:23:00.000-05:00

Well, I can't say I'm not a little nervous to be launching my new weblog. But with so much rubbish out there on the web, I thought I could add something of real value. I may be a stuffed dog, but this ain't no fluff. Right here at the Harriet and Mickey Chronicle you'll get state-of-the-art insights, pictures, and advice that you won't find anywhere else.

If this is your first visit here, you might want to look at the Blog Archive on the right and read up on past entries.

I hope you'll come back!

Your friend, Mickey